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Puns Anyone? Got 'em? Post 'em.


Notes_Norton

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I hear Bapu celebrated last night with a couple of adult beverages...  Metamucil and Ensure! 😁

 

For those of you that don’t want Alexa listening in on your conversation they are making a male version….it doesn’t listen to anything.

 

Now that I have lived through a plague, I totally understand why Italian renaissance paintings are full of fat people lying on couches.

 

Three thousand and twenty-seven years from now, life will either be really good or really bad. It’s 5050.

 

In Ancient Rome there were four types of poisons. Poisons I, II and III would all kill you but Poison IV would make you really itchy.

 

Just learned that a dentist who rents a space on the main floor of our building got arrested for selling drugs. Shows how wrong you can be about people. I’ve been going to him for years. Never knew he was a dentist.

 

What’s the difference between a kleptomaniac and a literalist? The literalist takes things literally. The kleptomaniac takes things, literally.

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3 hours ago, rfssongs said:

Saw this headline earlier "Why stock investors are suddenly so scared" and wondered, if they are just stock investors why can't we just order some more ?

scared or scarce?   The joke makes more sense if its "scarce."

Q: "Why are stock investors are suddenly so scarce?"

A: "I don't know, but since they are just stock investors, couldn't we just order some more?" 

Edited by User 905133
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A one-liner described by its author as “stupid” has topped the poll for best joke of the Edinburgh fringe.

Lorna Rose Treen was voted winner of the annual competition with: “I started dating a zookeeper, but it turned out he was a cheetah.”

she is right, it's a stupid variant of the tarzan joke - who tf judges these things?

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