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Those were the days


Bapu

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4 hours ago, Shane_B. said:

It made me feel selfish and kind of sad to think I created all this, just for myself. All the hours, months, weeks, probably totalling years of actual hours I've spent that never benefitted anyone but me.

I share what I created with a handful of friends and family that listen to it once, say it's nice, then never listen again. It makes me question why I even bothered to be honest.

Such thoughts have flitted through my head from time to time, too. But they don't take hold, for two reasons.

First, I enjoy my own music. How could I not, given that it's custom tailored for an audience of one? I took out all the things I didn't want to hear and put in things that I did want to hear. When I'm falling asleep with headphones on, and the player lands on one of my own tunes, especially if I haven't heard it in awhile, I genuinely like it. Not necessarily because it's great or inspired or breaks new ground, but because I made it for me and I know what me likes.

Second, these days I'm putting a lot of energy into live performance. Talk about a potential waste of time - live music happens in the moment and then it's gone forever. Nobody outside the  people in that room will ever hear it. That truly is the essence of music: here's me putting something into your ear right now in real time. If you don't like it we can both pretend it never happened, but even if it works neither of us have any proof that it did. Either way, it's meant to be enjoyed in the moment, like most of the best parts of life.

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