Great idea Rain. Way to keep an open mind and try diff approaches. As usual, you're better than u think. That said, rem to give urself some props for every little step forward. That's what a good producer does. Positive reinforcement is a POWERFUL thing. It inspires us and builds confidence in us.
Just keep setting small goals and allow urself more time to grow. With time, u'll get better at all these things incl mixing(which is an area I'm still growing at myself). Rock On My Friend 😉