craigb

What's the difference between being kinky and being perverted? A kinky person uses a feather, the pervert uses the entire chicken! Why did the pervert cross the road? He was chasing the chicken...

Along those lines... 😁

I resemble that remark! 🤓 This is me at a Halloween party right after Revenge of the Nerds had come out in 1984: I have no idea who this girl was; I had bunches coming up wanting to have their pictures taken with me though! 😆 Things to note: Band-Aid in the middle thick black glasses (I don't need glasses, even now, so these had just regular glass in them) Slicked back hair White shirt buttoned up all the way but without a tie ID badge on a chain around my neck (yes, the badge even had me pictured as a nerd on it!) Pocket protector with a BUNCH of stuff in it including a calculator and way too many pens! (Not seen was a slide rule in my back pocket.) Pants pocket inside out Pants too short and pulled up too high A bunch of keys hanging off of belt loop White socks with mismatching colors at their tops Can of Binaca breath spray (my pickup line was to look at a girl, turn and spray some in my mouth, then say "Hi!" real cheesy - DAMN that worked!)

*Wonders why I don't recall Oasis or anything they might have stolen made...*

These are awesome! 😁

Reminds me of the time I went on a trip for three days and nine nights...

Awesome! And that is the key part that many are missing currently: Focus on the good stuff not the bad! 🙂 (Quantum Mechanics: What you focus on most is what you get more of! 🤓 )

Here, have a few! 😁 One tequila, two tequila, three tequila... Floor. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes? The main reason that Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live! If a deaf child signs swear words, does his mother wash his hands with soap? If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? Is there another word for synonym? Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?" What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant? If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages? Would a fly without wings be called a walk? Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will break-in and clean them? If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? Can vegetarians eat animal crackers? If the police arrest a mute, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? Why do they put braille on the drive-through bank machines? How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs? What was the best thing before sliced bread? One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people! Does the little mermaid wear an algaebra? Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? How is it possible to have a civil war? If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too? If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry? If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of “as steroids"? Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them? Why is there an expiration date on sour cream? If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times, does he become disoriented? Can an atheist get insurance against acts of God? Why do shops have signs that say 'Guide dogs only!' when the dogs can't read and their owners are blind?

No Reason either?

I'm sticking with Notepad!!!

Elton John - Funeral For A Friend / Love Lies Bleeding (I used to call up the radio station and request this often! They hated the fact that it was so long back then, but way too many requested it so it got a lot of air time!)

Just add a monkey somewhere and he'll be ok! 😆

*Sheens is triggered!* 😁

Did you call them to have them remove your image from the bottom left Bob? 😆

Are we talking about becan now? 'Cause I'm thinking about becan...

I may be a kleptomaniac, but I'm taking something for it! 😁

😁 Lynyrd Skynrd - That Smell

(But, how does he know he's actually awake??? 🤔😜)

Except in Budweiser. (But nobody should be drinking that horrible stuff anyway, ya?)

Ooo... I know where the time goes! (I'm just not allowed to tell others. 😜)

Gee, there used to be a Listening To This Now thread, didn't there? 🤔