craigb Posted February 25, 2021 Share Posted February 25, 2021 4 hours ago, Notes_Norton said: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandolin Picker Posted February 25, 2021 Share Posted February 25, 2021 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craigb Posted February 25, 2021 Share Posted February 25, 2021 5 minutes ago, Mandolin Picker said: I have this strange desire to visit! ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Notes_Norton Posted February 27, 2021 Author Share Posted February 27, 2021 There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. Only a fraction of people will find this funny. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craigb Posted February 27, 2021 Share Posted February 27, 2021 Being a math guy, I've always loved those jokes. Here, have the meme! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craigb Posted February 27, 2021 Share Posted February 27, 2021 BTW - My math teacher tried to say I was just average, but she was just being mean! ? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Notes_Norton Posted February 28, 2021 Author Share Posted February 28, 2021 C, E-flat and G go into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve minors," and E-flat leaves. C and G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me, I'll just be a second." A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor and sends him out. Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and shouts, "Get out now. You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight." Next night, E-flat, not easily deflated, comes into the bar in a 3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender says: "You're looking pretty sharp tonight. Come on in. This could be a major development." Sure enough, E-flat takes off his suit and everything else and stands there au naturel. Eventually, C, who had passed out under the bar the night before, begins to sober up and realizes in horror that he's under a rest. So, C goes to trial, is convicted of contributing to the diminution of a minor and sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an up scale correctional facility. The conviction is overturned on appeal, however, and C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless. The bartender decides, however, that since he's only had tenor so patrons, the soprano out in the bathroom, and everything has become alto much treble, he needs a rest and closes the bar. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhonoBrainer Posted February 28, 2021 Share Posted February 28, 2021 39 minutes ago, Notes_Norton said: C, E-flat and G go into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve minors," and E-flat leaves. C and G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me, I'll just be a second." A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor and sends him out. Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and shouts, "Get out now. You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight." Next night, E-flat, not easily deflated, comes into the bar in a 3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender says: "You're looking pretty sharp tonight. Come on in. This could be a major development." Sure enough, E-flat takes off his suit and everything else and stands there au naturel. Eventually, C, who had passed out under the bar the night before, begins to sober up and realizes in horror that he's under a rest. So, C goes to trial, is convicted of contributing to the diminution of a minor and sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an up scale correctional facility. The conviction is overturned on appeal, however, and C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless. The bartender decides, however, that since he's only had tenor so patrons, the soprano out in the bathroom, and everything has become alto much treble, he needs a rest and closes the bar. Very nice, very nice. I C what You did there, You ought to be suspended. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobertWS Posted February 28, 2021 Share Posted February 28, 2021 Puns are his forte. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craigb Posted February 28, 2021 Share Posted February 28, 2021 3 hours ago, RobertWS said: Stealing Borrowing Puns are his forte. Fixed! ? (However, to be fair, I originally stole it way back in 2006 and last posted it in 2009... The PROOF! ? ) 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Notes_Norton Posted February 28, 2021 Author Share Posted February 28, 2021 A bad punner steals, a good punner borrows, and there isn't much difference between the two. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craigb Posted March 1, 2021 Share Posted March 1, 2021 8 hours ago, Notes_Norton said: A bad punner steals, a good punner borrows, and there isn't much difference between the two. Now I have a song going through my head... "Baaad on the pun!" ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Notes_Norton Posted March 1, 2021 Author Share Posted March 1, 2021 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craigb Posted March 1, 2021 Share Posted March 1, 2021 Reminds me of this old one: 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandolin Picker Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Notes_Norton Posted March 2, 2021 Author Share Posted March 2, 2021 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craigb Posted March 2, 2021 Share Posted March 2, 2021 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wibbles Posted March 3, 2021 Share Posted March 3, 2021 A photon checks into his hotel for the night and the porter asks him whether he has any luggage he can take to the room. "No" says the photon, "I'm travelling light". 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craigb Posted March 3, 2021 Share Posted March 3, 2021 1 hour ago, Wibbles said: A photon checks into his hotel for the night and the porter asks him whether he has any luggage he can take to the room. "No" says the photon, "I'm travelling light". Did he wave as he said that? ? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Notes_Norton Posted March 3, 2021 Author Share Posted March 3, 2021 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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