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Jerry Gerber

Next Time Somebody Says You Don't Know Jack Shitt!

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You Don't Know Jack Schitt?

Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt." Now you can intellectually handle the situation.

Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, a partner of Kneedeep &. Schitt Inc. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and the deeply religious couple produced 6 children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins: Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school drop out. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.

Noe Schitt later married Mr.Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them she wanted to keep her previous name. She was known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.

Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a nervous son, Chicken Schitt. Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.

The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens wedding.

The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new bride, Piza Schitt.

So now if someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt", you can correct them. Not only do you know Jack, you know his whole family!
 

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14 minutes ago, Shane_B. said:

Actually, Schitt makes very good audio equipment.

https://www.schiit.com/

Well, I hope nobody takes offense. On the other hand, is it possible to write or say something funny that doesn't offend someone? 

Hmm, that's something to ponder.. 

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3 minutes ago, jsg said:

Well, I hope nobody takes offense. On the other hand, is it possible to write or say something funny that doesn't offend someone? 

Hmm, that's something to ponder.. 

No offense taken here. I'm pretty thick skinned. And skulled. 

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I kept reading to hear about the creek they own, but it wasn't mentioned. 😁

As for the thread getting deleted, I should point out that the word "shit" is NOT on the censorship list!

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7 hours ago, Philip G Hunt said:

If Schiit made Jacks......too perfect. 😁

Jacks, by Shiit

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7 hours ago, Philip G Hunt said:

If Schiit made Jacks......too perfect. 😁

I think they make Dumb Schiit's where it's bare bones, no Bluetooth, no remote. You have to get up and walk across the room to turn the volume up and down. Although they do make smaller bluetooth capable equipment in their Little Wise Schitt line of products though. They also have a dedicated paid music service device called their Streaming Schiit DAC. I'm kind of an expert on their line of products. I really know my Schiit.

And ... 3 ... 2 ... 1 ...

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Oh cr@p this fred has gone down the terlit fast.

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3 hours ago, Notes_Norton said:

When you make a joke, even with no offense intended, someone is bound to poo-poo you.

 

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I hear Schitt audio was working with Cakewalk after the Roland breakup to release a new version of Sonar Platinum. They were going to call it Schitt Splat but the merger got canned and they flushed the name.

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1 minute ago, Shane_B. said:

I hear Schitt audio was working with Cakewalk after the Roland breakup to release a new version of Sonar Platinum. They were going to call it Schitt Splat but the merger got canned and they flushed the name.

This included an edition called "The Producer" or TP for short...

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