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Ruralrocker2010

In Her Eyes

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Hi All,

I'm at the stage where I'm trying to finish this thing and I'd love some input.

Mix

Harmony Parts or gang vocal parts that could make sense or any other general sweeteners.

Likeability

General crits.

Thank you!

 

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It's a very cool song, and the vocals are excellent, guitars are well played and very inventive. The mix sounds super clear, an overly picky producer might want to tame it down, but for myself it has a very raw and real authenticity to it the way it is. For some reason, the chorus made me think of Joe Walsh. BTW, the ending is brilliant . . . sounds like it just happened that way out of a genuine feeling, so well done.

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Very nice song. Has a Doobie Brothers vibe to me.

My nit pick is that the snare sound is too bright and stands out nearly to the point of distraction. A woodier snare might fit better.

And then there is the actual drum patterns. A little too busy for my tastes for such a simple emotive song.

Then again, I've been known to be wrong before.

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Posted (edited)

Sounds good but not great  ... then again on the 2nd listen I felt something's missing to bring it through  . not sure if Bapu has a point but give a different drum score to it and see if it changes the vibe .. perhaps move on with the tune ... Bit more salt and pepper maybe  ... I did like it though 😊

SupaReels

Edited by SupaReels

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Cool tune, I like that dip down of the chords in the chorus, if that makes sense. I thought that was pretty inventive!

I agree with Bapu on a different snare. There's something "high school gym" about the snare you have at present, where something less ringy and more woody might suit better. Hopefully, if you are using a drum sampler, that should be an easy experiment to see what other snares you might like.

In the 2:21 section, you can hear the hi hat or ride part is perhaps flanging a bit too much, which might be creating a high-end smear which could also be making a mix problem. That by itself could be masking upper snare eq's or even your vocal.

As for what could be added, everyone would have their opinion of course, but in your opening 8 bars with just the guitar as an intro, you could bring in a flute or harmonica, something in the upper range, maybe in bars 4-8, something working off the guitar line. I think subtle use of a flute-ish voice along the way in you song could be cool. Maybe an upper register flutey B3?

Nice vocal, it does ring of Doobie Bros but I thought the song itself brought Bonnie Raitt to mind, of all things, so what do I know. Vocally you might double your track in the choruses? Or bring in Michael McDonald?

nice work!

cheers,

-Tom

 

 

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guitar low note needs a tad tuning in intro also some voice notes..doobie bros.bring up bass guitar.jack c.

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Hi Joshua, it's nice to hear from you.  I love this song and arrangement, and you're singing is still super!  The only thing that stands out to me is the low level bass gtr.  It could easily be as loud as the snare/kick and would propel this song and might make the snare seem more right for the song.  I hope to hear some more songs from you because I've always been a fan.

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OK! Thank you all. I love the suggestions. It's EZ drummer and I can easily experiment with the snare sound. I must admit @Bapu it stood out to me too but I wasn't sure why, so I'll take your suggestion and @emeraldsoul's as well.

@Lynn Wilson I agree on the bass and already bumped it a few db.  I'm very slow these days. I'm working at music a bunch but I completely accepted that I try to move way too fast and as a result I'm being much more deliberate about production. I have a ton of ideas, but since I have no partner or band to work with I'm just taking it very slow...as you can see - it took a while for me even to respond to this. Life is busy! I have 4 kids and 2 about to graduate college and highschool. Crazy times! 

Thank you all for the suggestions. I'm gonna sit on it a few more days. I think the high-end smear bugs me as was pointed out and now that I think about the drums, and others heard the same as me I believe I need to figure out a way to tame them. It might be by pulling back the snare, or just changing up some of the builds. I agree, it's a lot for such simple song. The drummer is clearly overly excited for how much is actually going on. Maybe I'll play them myself just to see what feels natural.

Again, thank you all.

 

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Pleasant enough tune easy on the furry ears.  One thing to remember with all VST's 99% of presets and supplie dpatterns are to show the VST off to its best.  With drum patterns it is often worth taking the time to par them down a bit.

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Good track - as I am sure you know, needs a bit of work, but this could be really good when finished - i like it

Cheers

Nigel

 

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