You'll Get Yours - Feedback Requested

[jeffdrawscomics]

Hi everyone.  I'm working on a draft of my song, "You'll Get Yours", and I'm looking for constructive feedback.  Much appreciated.  

 

 

[jeffdrawscomics]

I should mention:

• Vocals: IKM Mic Room -> Nectar -> Waves Greg Wells VoiceCentric , send to distortion bus (Waves Berzerk), parallel send to reverb bus (IKM Sunset Studios)
• Background vocals: EW Hollywood Backup Singers
• Guitar: OTS Stratosphere -> Guitar Rig
• Bass: OTS Flatwound bass
• Trumpet: Insanity New Orleans Brass
• Trombone: Insanity New Orleans Brass
• Drums: AD2 Fairfax kit
• Master bus: BUSTERse
• Composed, mixed, mastered using CbB

Edited March 1, 2023 by jeffdrawscomics

[Larry T.]

I like the song a lot. Steady groove, which is strange because the drums aren't laying a groove beat down, quite the opposite. Your choice of instruments are perfect. The lead vox is good, maybe bring it down a dB, add some harmony vox for more depth. The bass and horns can be brought up a dB or so. Maybe pan the horns to give the song more width. I'd work on balancing all the instruments to get a clearer sonic picture but that's just me. Maybe a tambourine hit here and there....it kind of has a feel similar to The Doors "My Wild Love" which is pretty cool imho. The ending is too abrupt. Really good work Jeff ????

[jeffdrawscomics]

Thanks, Larry.  Great feedback.  I’ll incorporate your advice and play with it some more. I appreciate your advice! 

[Keith Wilby]

Hi Jeff, for me it doesn't go anywhere. Perhaps consider introducing some of the instruments as the song progresses, and/or have a middle 8?

Just my 2p worth.

[jeffdrawscomics]

Thanks, Keith.  I appreciate the feedback.

 

[DeeringAmps]

Jeff I think you need to add a rhythm instrument. For me it would be a rhythm guitar, and I’d have the bass “push” the tune at some point (meaning it would get busier).
just my nickel98…

t

[jeffdrawscomics]

12 hours ago, DeeringAmps said:

For me it would be a rhythm guitar, and I’d have the bass “push” the tune at some point

Thanks, Tom.  I like this advice.  I'll play around with a rhythm guitar and see what I can make work.  I appreciate it.

[DeeringAmps]

Jeff I’d have to listen again, but I’d break it up into verse/chorus, meaning push the chorus segments (bass and rhythm if I were doing it) then lay back again in the verses. 
Just a thought, your tune, your production. 
I really think that was what Keith meant by “doesn’t go anywhere”. Early on I would get a midi backing track working enough to play over and then kind of “forget” about it. 
HTH,

t

[Alan Tubbs]

Nice song that works.

 I thought originally the voice should be angrier.  But I think the idea of raising the temperature of the voice as the song goes on, esp at the end.  Make the vocal different at the end, emotionally and rhythmically.  That will help with the feeling the song doesn’t go anywhere.  It starts out upset but doesn’t reach a positive outcome.  Build up to a real anger.  See early John Cale for examples.

and yea, the vocals need to come down some but you can bring them up toward the end.

[jeffdrawscomics]

26 minutes ago, Alan Tubbs said:

 But I think the idea of raising the temperature of the voice as the song goes on, esp at the end.  Make the vocal different at the end, emotionally and rhythmically.  

Thanks, Alan.  I like this idea. I appreciate the feedback.

[Lynn Wilson]

I, too, agree that this is a good beginning to a good song.  Now, it's all dynamically the same, and the emotional level doesn't change much throughout the song.  It might be interesting to have some build up and some back off in different sections.  Have fun with this mix, as it has possibilities.

[jeffdrawscomics]

Thanks, Lynn.  I appreciate your feedback.  I agree with your assessment re: the emotional level being constant throughout the song.  

[PhonoBrainer]

It's got the basic ideas and bones of something powerful, and I agree with the above comments re: dynamics building, and the addition of a rhythm guitar. It could even be a reggae groove element, guitar or organ or ep?

You might consider employing the limited-eq "telephone" effect on the vocals? Even intermittently? It might help tame the amount of space your vocals are currently occupying in the mix? Just a thought. For me, the vocals are just a bit dominant in the mix. 

Things are in pretty good shape, I think all you have from here on are refinements! Nice one!

 

cheers,

-Tom

 

[jeffdrawscomics]

Thanks, Tom. I appreciate the advice. 

[Paul Bush]

Yeah you got the raw bones alright I agree with Tom though it could do with some rythum guitar 

[treesha]

Really enjoyed this. There are some musicians where I live that like to do “old timey music” and this remind me of that type of music via the mood and the theme. Your voice really works well for this song. I would like to hear the horns more prominent. Don’t hear the backup vocals too well. (Female vocals would go great in here.) I don’t think you need any other instruments, or to change the structure, but work with the ones you have to give them their own space with eq and panning and levels. Fade the ending maybe with another meet the good lord phrase as a parting shot. I think the driven simplicity is great and it works well. Looking forward to what you do with this.

[jeffdrawscomics]

Thanks, treesha! I appreciate your feedback.