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A Trace Of Sadness In Her Eyes


Barry Seymour

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 Barry , I thought this was a Very cool song and the entire concept of it "hit home" for me.  I think the weak point was  the drums. The basic rhythm is correct , but needs to be more complex .  It felt like there were missing hits that would drive the song a little harder.  I think when the energy is up a little bit , it will prompt you to make other changes that this one deserves.  I loved it and think it is Very worthy of reviving.      mark

Edited by mark skinner
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7 hours ago, jack c. said:

boy what a nice feel!jack c.check some voice notes tad off but ya do have a wonderful voice.

Thanks for the honest feedback. This is another one of those songs that sounds right in the headphones but not on the room speakers. It's a problem, not sure what to do about it - it's like the headphones are lying to me when I hear myself on pitch!

Gonna work on it some more. Again, thanks.

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6 hours ago, mark skinner said:

 Barry , I thought this was a Very cool song and the entire concept of it "hit home" for me.  I think the weak point was  the drums. The basic rhythm is correct , but needs to be more complex .  It felt like there were missing hits that would drive the song a little harder.  I think when the energy is up a little bit , it will prompt you to make other changes that this one deserves.  I loved it and think it is Very worthy of reviving.      mark

Eeek. I'm not a drummer. But you make an excellent point. Thanks for the input, lemme see what I can do.  Maybe I can find a drummer in my circle of friends...

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3 hours ago, Barry Seymour said:

This is another one of those songs that sounds right in the headphones but not on the room speakers. It's a problem, not sure what to do about it - it's like the headphones are lying to me when I hear myself on pitch!

Gonna work on it some more. Again, thanks.

When I mix live bands Barry I always put extra verb in the IEMs for the singers.,, your brain needs space.
It helps keep on pitch..  maybe this will help you.

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More fine songwriting here; as always. 
Tone and ambiance on the solo guitar is a “treat”; well done!

 I’m not hearing a top hat; is that right?

 I think to Mark’s point that would help “drive” the tune along. (bear in mind my ears are not what they used to be, and I’m listening on Bose cans so?)

As to “pitchy” vocals, we can only do the “best” we can.... (it takes one to know one, and I have a boatload of “know” when it comes to “pitchy” ?)

All in all another “heroic” production!

(see what I did there?)

t

would have left comments and a “like” over at SoundCloud, but sadly SC and my phone don’t get along. 

Edited by DeeringAmps
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22 minutes ago, jack c. said:

i do most of me songs listening in the room.to fine tune on go phones,then last listen room again.jack c.

Sad news; I DON'T HAVE A ROOM. I work at the dining room table.  I have to load the MP3 on my home theater pc to check the pitch. Too cumbersome.

I may hook up some cheap PC speakers on the fly to test pitch, or maybe bluetooth? I have work to do.

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You tell a great story Barry (great lyrics).  You do have a great vocal timber and presentation --- so, a wee bit of pitchy was a minor thing for me.  BTW, being chronologically and geriatically (sp?) challenged -- for me vocals are always a problem.   Luv the guitar breaks and the separation on the mix.  Well done!

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Okay, I did this just on a lark.

First, I sang it again. I've been reading up on pitch problems when singing in headphones. Long story short, I muted the bass and sang with one ear uncovered. It seems to have made a big difference in my pitch accuracy!

Second: I fiddled with drums for a bit but was not coming up with anything. I am not a drummer. On a whim, I muted the existing drum track and dropped in a standard beat using MT Power DrumKit 2. That gave it a totally different feel. I'm not sure if I'm going to go down this road; it's just an experiment. But those of you who said the drums need work - is this a path I should go down?

Let me know, and thanks in advance for any time, attention and expertise you may wish to share.

A Trace Of Sadness In Her Eyes.2021.10.05.mp3

Edited by Barry Seymour
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Love the story behind the song. Found myself listening to the words more than the music.
Voc is nicely forward and placed just right.
You're only slightly off on some of the pitch issues mentioned. If you're not averse to it, you could easily fix the pitches with Melodyne.
-Bjorn

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 The MT drums sure gave it more power but , really lost that laid back feel. Maybe just some additional hits on the 2 and 3 is all it needs. The vibe on the 1st version worked so much better.   "Unbelievable" you've been producing these wonderful songs with headphones in your dining room .  Amazing  ..       mark  

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22 hours ago, Barry Seymour said:

Okay, I did this just on a lark.

First, I sang it again. I've been reading up on pitch problems when singing in headphones. Long story short, I muted the bass and sang with one ear uncovered. It seems to have made a big difference in my pitch accuracy!

Second: I fiddled with drums for a bit but was not coming up with anything. I am not a drummer. On a whim, I muted the existing drum track and dropped in a standard beat using MT Power DrumKit 2. That gave it a totally different feel. I'm not sure if I'm going to go down this road; it's just an experiment. But those of you who said the drums need work - is this a path I should go down?

Let me know, and thanks in advance for any time, attention and expertise you may wish to share.

A Trace Of Sadness In Her Eyes.2021.10.05.mp3 4.55 MB · 7 downloads

Hi Barry.
You have a great talent for story telling.
You also have in my opinion a lovely voice to express the story telling.

I used to work as a proff singer years ago... you have the voice mate.. 
Sometimes its the story and the way it is sung.. sometimes pitch/or lack off doesnt make a song.
People rave about bob Dylan...  I don't like his voice at all...   but his songs are fantastic.

When people pay to see an artist they expect a very different standard and also modern music today is in my opinion too much in tune and in time that many songs dont breathe or move  (groove). 
Please dont knock yourself back with feeling you have to be dead on pitch...  you will loose Barry...  becasue Barry will try and be something his uniqueness will prevent.
hope you understand what I mean.

Imperfections can make a great track!

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2 hours ago, mark skinner said:

 The MT drums sure gave it more power but , really lost that laid back feel. Maybe just some additional hits on the 2 and 3 is all it needs. The vibe on the 1st version worked so much better.   "Unbelievable" you've been producing these wonderful songs with headphones in your dining room .  Amazing  ..       mark  

Yeah, I think the original vibe is better. I just found it fascinating that I could even do this - just drop in a totally different beat. Alternate universes, etc.

Thanks for the kind words. Yeah, I'm working on improving things. Not to be immodest, but I've always considered myself a good singer (see the link below), so to hear this stuff go so off pitch has been profoundly distressing to me. But as it turns out, this is a well-known phenomenon when recording vocals with headphones, a problem I seem to be particularly susceptible to. I'm watching some videos and other links and I'm beginning to get a handle on how to address my second take is already miles better than the first.

Here's the aforementioned link - me in "Kiss Me, Kate" in 1997. I loves me a dirty song...
 

 

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1 hour ago, garybrun said:

Hi Barry.
You have a great talent for story telling.
You also have in my opinion a lovely voice to express the story telling.

I used to work as a proff singer years ago... you have the voice mate.. 
Sometimes its the story and the way it is sung.. sometimes pitch/or lack off doesnt make a song.
People rave about bob Dylan...  I don't like his voice at all...   but his songs are fantastic.

When people pay to see an artist they expect a very different standard and also modern music today is in my opinion too much in tune and in time that many songs dont breathe or move  (groove). 
Please dont knock yourself back with feeling you have to be dead on pitch...  you will loose Barry...  becasue Barry will try and be something his uniqueness will prevent.
hope you understand what I mean.

Imperfections can make a great track!

Thanks. I totally agree about Dylan. Can't listen to him but love his songs.

My goal is to get this good enough without AutoTune. I know I can do it, it'll just take some technical adjustments...

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32 minutes ago, mark skinner said:

Amazing ! Your talent runs Deep and will always be with you. I feel embarrassed even attempting to give you suggestions.   ms

Stop! I'm still a noob at Cakewalk! Always need feedback. And that video was 23 years ago... I've gone a bit downhill since then. ?

Thanks for the kind words.

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