Starise Posted October 16, 2020 Share Posted October 16, 2020 1 hour ago, Doc H said: I think someone is aggressively trying to reduce the human population. You better have a bathroom and three rolls of TP on the ready about 2 hours after eating that! Put 911 on speed dial!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Notes_Norton Posted October 18, 2020 Author Share Posted October 18, 2020 I LIKE COOKING MY FAMILY AND MY PETS. USE COMMAS, THEY SAVE LIVES. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craigb Posted October 18, 2020 Share Posted October 18, 2020 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Notes_Norton Posted October 19, 2020 Author Share Posted October 19, 2020 (edited) and for Craig. Edited October 19, 2020 by Notes_Norton 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craigb Posted October 19, 2020 Share Posted October 19, 2020 If you boil a funny bone, it becomes a laughing stock. That's humerus. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craigb Posted October 19, 2020 Share Posted October 19, 2020 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garybrun Posted October 19, 2020 Share Posted October 19, 2020 Old Chinese proverb! Man with hole in pocket can count to eleven! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craigb Posted October 19, 2020 Share Posted October 19, 2020 Older Chinese proverb. Learn to satisfy yourself. Come in handy! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Notes_Norton Posted October 20, 2020 Author Share Posted October 20, 2020 Reworded for a family forum. Confucius also say: Man who make love to woman on ground get piece on earth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xoo Posted October 20, 2020 Share Posted October 20, 2020 Did you hear about the man who had his house made backwards so he could watch TV? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craigb Posted October 20, 2020 Share Posted October 20, 2020 An invisible man married an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either. I didn’t think the chiropractor would improve my posture. But I stand corrected. I took my new girlfriend out on our first date to the ice rink, and entry was half price. She called me a cheap skate. Studies show cows produce more milk when the farmer talks to them. It’s a case of in one ear and out the udder. I used to date a girl with one leg who worked at a brewery. She was in charge of the hops. My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce. I found out she was seeing someone on the side. My wife claims I’m the cheapest person she’s ever met. I’m not buying it. Did you know that a raven has 17 rigid feathers called pinions, while a crow has only 16. The difference between a raven and a crow is just a matter of a pinion. I told my carpenter I didn’t want carpeted steps. He gave me a blank stair. What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing up his own incision? Suture self. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starise Posted October 20, 2020 Share Posted October 20, 2020 Geesh Craig .........................you and notes should write a book. lol. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craigb Posted October 20, 2020 Share Posted October 20, 2020 33 minutes ago, Starise said: Geesh Craig .........................you and notes should write a book. lol. Who reads books anymore? ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starise Posted October 20, 2020 Share Posted October 20, 2020 Me. It isn't a sin you know. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Notes_Norton Posted October 21, 2020 Author Share Posted October 21, 2020 They laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian, but they're not laughing now. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Notes_Norton Posted October 21, 2020 Author Share Posted October 21, 2020 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Notes_Norton Posted October 22, 2020 Author Share Posted October 22, 2020 I always thought a good name for a Pink Floyd tribute band would be "Pink Fraud" There used to be a Neil Diamond impersonator around here who called himself "Neil Zirconium" How about "Proxy Music"? "The Faux Fighters"? "Rolling Clones"? (I think these are all real tribute bands) Notes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craigb Posted October 22, 2020 Share Posted October 22, 2020 2 hours ago, Notes_Norton said: How about "Proxy Music"? Would they play Not the Real Thing? ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Notes_Norton Posted October 23, 2020 Author Share Posted October 23, 2020 She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still. (sounds like an old-time country music song title to me) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
57Gregy Posted October 25, 2020 Share Posted October 25, 2020 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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