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Notes_Norton

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Everything posted by Notes_Norton

  1. A bad punner steals, a good punner borrows, and there isn't much difference between the two.
  2. Tylenol (Acetaminophen - Paracetamol) is the biggest cause of liver failure in the world today. Be careful not to exceed the recommended dosage.
  3. Time for some Motown (that's halfway between Larry Town and Curly Town nyuk nyuk) My World Is Empty Without You - The Supremes
  4. C, E-flat and G go into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve minors," and E-flat leaves. C and G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me, I'll just be a second." A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor and sends him out. Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and shouts, "Get out now. You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight." Next night, E-flat, not easily deflated, comes into the bar in a 3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender says: "You're looking pretty sharp tonight. Come on in. This could be a major development." Sure enough, E-flat takes off his suit and everything else and stands there au naturel. Eventually, C, who had passed out under the bar the night before, begins to sober up and realizes in horror that he's under a rest. So, C goes to trial, is convicted of contributing to the diminution of a minor and sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an up scale correctional facility. The conviction is overturned on appeal, however, and C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless. The bartender decides, however, that since he's only had tenor so patrons, the soprano out in the bathroom, and everything has become alto much treble, he needs a rest and closes the bar.
  5. There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. Only a fraction of people will find this funny.
  6. Smith - Baby It's You Gayle McCormick can really wail
  7. I Washed My Hands in Muddy Water - Stonewall Jackson
  8. People Gotta Move - Gino Vannelli And his brother on good ol' analog synths is just as impressive.
  9. Mission Impossible Theme - Lalo Schifrin
  10. Let's Call The Whole Thing Off - Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Armstrong
  11. To Know Him Is To Love Him - Teddy Bears Digging deep down into the prehistoric ages of Rock n Roll ?
  12. I've had great luck with ThinkPads. Almost bulletproof.
  13. I know nothing about sports teams. I haven't got the sports gene in me. Oh, well. But I do know about blues. Blues In The Night - Bobby 'Blue' Bland
  14. "Lucky Man" - Emerson, Lake & Palmer
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