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Byron Dickens

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  1. Byron Dickens

    Spurious Correlations

    Bread Kills! 1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users. 2. Fully half of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests. 3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations. 4. Every piece of bread you eat brings you nearer to death. 5. Bread is associated with all the major diseases of the body. For example, nearly all sick people have eaten bread. The effects are obviously cumulative: q 99.9% of all people who die from cancer have eaten bread. q 100% of all soldiers have eaten bread. q 96.9% of all Communist sympathizers have eaten bread. q 99.7% of the people involved in air and auto accidents ate bread within 6 months preceding the accident. q 93.1% of juvenile delinquents came from homes where bread is served frequently. 6. Evidence points to the long-term effects of bread eating: Of all the people born since 1839 who later dined on bread, there has been a 100% mortality rate. 7. Bread is made from a substance called “dough.” It has been proven that as little as a teaspoon of dough can be used to suffocate a lab rat. The average American eats more bread than that in one day! 8. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s disease, and osteoporosis. 9. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after as little as two days. 10. Bread is often a “gateway” food item, leading the user to “harder” items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts. 11. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person. 12. Newborn babies can choke on bread. 13. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute. 14. Most bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling. 15. In light of these frightening statistics, we propose the following bread restrictions: q No sale of bread to minors. q A nationwide “Just Say No To Toast” campaign, complete celebrity TV spots and bumper stickers. q A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills we might associate with bread. q No animal or human images, nor any primary colors (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage. q The establishment of “Bread-free” zones around schools.
  2. Byron Dickens

    EastWest Voices Sale

    I have the Symphonic Choirs and it is fantastic. Still haven't completely figured out that votox thing yet.
  3. Mixbus is intended to be an emulation of Harrison's analog consoles and a tape deck. When you understand THAT'S the paradigm, I think some of the "limitations" make a whole lot more sense; it's like we're back in 1982 and sitting behind a Harrison 32c recording and mixing onto tape. You know, back when musicians with actual skill and talent played actual performances that got captured for posterity.
  4. Byron Dickens

    Forum members /home country ?

    Looking towards the house from the front corner:
  5. I remember when MTV played music videos. (Showing my age here.)
  6. Byron Dickens

    Forum members /home country ?

    I'm in Hockley, TX. Well, not exactly in Hockley proper but out in the suburbs.
  7. Byron Dickens

    Easy audio appending and cutting

    CBB would be overkill, but since you already have it & know how to use it I think it would make sense to just use that.
  8. Byron Dickens

    What is the normal Support Time ikmultimedia.com

    If you didn't get a number for your support ticket, then it didn't go through.
  9. Byron Dickens

    I had it with Wave Plug-ins.

    Those who live on the cutting edge often end up bleeding to death.
  10. Byron Dickens

    Gibson just destroyed 100s of Firebird X guitars

    I thought Gibson had pretty much destroyed ALL their guitars....
  11. Byron Dickens

    Bounce Tracks issue (EastWest)

    Good to know.
  12. Or lost their minds, more like.
  13. While we're on the topic, how did Heart go from the ferocious "Barracuda " to the atrocious, sappy "What about Love?" How did Scorpions get from "Virgin Killer" to "Winds of Change?" Or How did Foreigner go from "Dirty White Boy" to the horrid "I Want to Know What Love Is?"
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