crooked people

[timboalogo]

I'm hesitant to put this song up for song and mix review. There are so many good players here that I find it embarrassing to let folks listen to my stuff.

That said, this song is way heavier than the synth based stuff I've posted in the past, both musically and lyrically. And because it is bass and drum based, I'm wondering if I've got the mix right. In fact, I think not.

So please have a listen and tell me how this sounds.

Timbo

crooked people in the shadows
mouths overflow with lies untold
crooked people hoard our secrets
crooked people seen too much for too long

they've forgotten more than we've ever known
and the crows cry pain, pain, pain 
they weave straw baskets to cradle their lies
and the crows cry pain, pain, pain 

crooked people spin the promise
fractured wisdom for the gathering crowds
crooked people sow the sickness
crooked people done too much for too long

crooked people buried our wisdom
crows mock the nameless faces in the ground
crooked people sow the sickness
crooked people've run the farm for too long

they've forgotten more than we've ever known
and the crows cry pain, pain, pain 
they reaped the harvest, salted our crooked bones
and the crows cry pain, pain, pain 

Edited September 20 by timboalogo
147 views and 0 plays, so I remixed it

[mark skinner]

I thought that was quite creative and for sure got my attention. I'm not well versed in that genre and anything I would suggest would probably reduce the effect of what you are aiming for.  That is except for the "keys" lead section early in the song. I think they could be brought down a bit giving a little more balance in that section.   Enjoyed it ..     mark

[timboalogo]

Thanks for the listen Mark. I try to make up for my lack of musical talent with creativity.

I'm not versed in the genre either and couldn't tell you what it is. When I'm writing I try not to censor any ideas that come to me.

I'll try to rebalance the piano bit (it's just Scaler) on the next remix.

Thanks for your ears,

Tim 

[Wookiee]

Are you happy with the finished product? That is all that matters in the end. Seems to cross a few genres to my furry ears, thrash, D & B, metal.

[timboalogo]

Thanks for the furry words, Wookiee ... I suppose you could be right about the genre(s), I certainly don't listen to them. This song just happened and I tried to make things fit from there.

I am happy with the way the drums fit in to the mix, and with the surrounding sounds I was able to put together. Lyrically, I'm happy with the strangeness of "and the crows cry pain, pain, pain", I don't know where that came from but it made the song.

Timbo

[Bajan Blue]

On 10/4/2025 at 9:26 AM, Wookiee said:

Are you happy with the finished product? That is all that matters in the end. Seems to cross a few genres to my furry ears, thrash, D & B, metal.

Hi

Well Wookie said it first - I do agree with what Wookie said here

Well done

Nigel

 

[Makke]

 Good song with a hectic rhythm and ambiance. Strong soundscape.

[timboalogo]

Thanks Makke for the listen!

I was hoping to get some honest critiques of my mix, but it seems like people are asking if I’m happy with it instead of giving me their genuine feedback.

I don't mind if folks don't like my song or genre but I do believe that even if a song isn’t in a popular genre, it still can be critiqued. 

I just want to improve and learn, so I hope this doesn’t upset anyone. As always, I'm looking forward to any honest, respectful feedback.

Timbo

Edited Monday at 09:44 PM by timboalogo

[treesha]

Heres my genuine feedback, I always aim to be genuine and hope folks do the same for my songs. Sounds ominous. Which matches your words. So good atmosphere. As far as the mix, my only feedback is the distorted instrument that underlies the song is a little smothering (maybe not a bad thing ha), at times could tell what chord especially when the bass helped, but other times it just was indistinct and provided noise vs chord information? Guess I just want more chord less indistinctness? Not sure I'm explaining this right. I enjoy heavy distorted ominous guitar, I just felt it was too much ? It’s a good song with meaningful lyrics. I wonder if your crow knows my raven...

[Amberwolf]

8 hours ago, timboalogo said:

I was hoping to get some honest critiques of my mix, but it seems like people are asking if I’m happy with it instead of giving me their genuine feedback.

I don't mind if folks don't like my song or genre but I do believe that even if a song isn’t in a popular genre, it still can be critiqued. 

I just want to improve and learn, so I hope this doesn’t upset anyone. As always, I'm looking forward to any honest, respectful feedback.

Thank you for posting this; it is also what I wish I could get more of.

 

I'm afraid I can't provide much helpful feedback other than that the guitar/drum sets off my tinnitus too much so I couldn't get past the first few seconds, or anywhere else I skipped into it.    (there are a bunch of things I want to do in my own music that I can't because of this problem....)

Beyond that, it sounds like the vocals are muffled buried in the other sounds, but that could just be how the song is supposed to be.   Keep in mind that my tinnitus is severe and so there are numerous vocal range and higher frequencies I literally can't hear anymore, so maybe the vocal sounds that stand out are simply inaudble to me because of that. 

 (some of mine are meant to have things this way, most aren't and there's a bunch of things I should someday go back and remix if I didn't always keep having so many new ideas for new ones I have to work out first). 

Edited yesterday at 06:05 AM by Amberwolf

[timboalogo]

thanks to treesha and Amberwolf for your ears,

First, I may have misconstrued what this sub-forum is about. The title says "Post links to your songs, share and discuss", and I shouldn't have expected mixing feedback since it is not intended to be a mixing clinic like on homerecording.com or Rich the Tweakhead's studio-central.com, where I originally came from.

I'm hearing that the bass is crowding out the vocals and other instruments—thanks for pointing that out. That’s really helpful as I work on refining the mix.

And Amberwolf, I had to smile when you mentioned that the song set off your tinnitus. I'm sorry to hear about your hearing issue, but I appreciate your honesty, and I’ll keep that in mind moving forward.

Thanks again for your feedback—back to the drawing board!

Best,
Timbo

[treesha]

I welcome have had mix feedback and see other posts ask for mix feedback and also others get mix feedback. So I think it happens here. I will have a look at the sites you mentioned. 

[timboalogo]

1 hour ago, treesha said:

I welcome have had mix feedback and see other posts ask for mix feedback and also others get mix feedback. So I think it happens here. I will have a look at the sites you mentioned. 

Treesha, FYI studio-central closed up shop a few years back when Tweak passed away. It was a special place. Some of the members here also post for review at homerecording.com ...

[Amberwolf]

9 hours ago, timboalogo said:

And Amberwolf, I had to smile when you mentioned that the song set off your tinnitus. I'm sorry to hear about your hearing issue, but I appreciate your honesty, and I’ll keep that in mind moving forward.

I mostly mentioned my problem because it means I am not hearing your whole song (even for the parts I could listen to), so the feedback i give might not be "valid" in that the things I have an issue with are unlikely to be those that others would. 

 

 

[daryl1968]

This is a crazy trip, Timbo. Very creative with FX. I liked the vocal moving from the distorted effect to the almost dry effect 

[timboalogo]

5 hours ago, daryl1968 said:

I liked the vocal moving from the distorted effect to the almost dry effect 

Thanks, Daryl = stolen from Aqualung, I'm afraid 

[PhonoBrainer]

So it asks a question . . . Why are the crows in pain? And it's a lot of pain. Why crows? Did the crooked people do something to the crows intentionally??? Or are the crows merely canaries in the coal mine, reacting incidentally with pain to the shenanigans of those crooked people? There are no answers. I love it.

Your ambiguous lyrics have a Talking Heads attraction to "build your own story" while the music is definitely more metal.

Id say the mix could use some bit of brightening, perhaps an eq lift in the extreme upper frequencies? There is a Maag4 "air" band that I think would do you well here. 

Check out this video from this search, maag eq4 air band https://share.google/ctiOZrFnViPYai8Cs

 

Cool tune.

cheers,

-Tom