Bevan Posted October 27, 2019 Share Posted October 27, 2019 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeeringAmps Posted October 28, 2019 Share Posted October 28, 2019 Not quite ready for prime time. But you’ve sketched your tune out, now we need to build a solid backing track. If I was producing I might try slowing it down a bit. You’re trying to deliver a lot of words and struggling a bit to my ears. Tighten up that drum track, get the vocal together, and bring it back. Stay with it. Tom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Sprouse Posted October 28, 2019 Share Posted October 28, 2019 At first you sounded like paul mcartney doing *pop sprechtstimme* (if that's a reality. ) Loved your lyrics. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bevan Posted October 28, 2019 Author Share Posted October 28, 2019 5 hours ago, DeeringAmps said: Not quite ready for prime time. But you’ve sketched your tune out, now we need to build a solid backing track. If I was producing I might try slowing it down a bit. You’re trying to deliver a lot of words and struggling a bit to my ears. Tighten up that drum track, get the vocal together, and bring it back. Stay with it. Tom Yes I'm still trying to get better. I want it at this tempo though, but maybe dropping it by just 4bpm could work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bevan Posted October 28, 2019 Author Share Posted October 28, 2019 2 hours ago, David Sprouse said: At first you sounded like paul mcartney doing *pop sprechtstimme* (if that's a reality. ) Loved your lyrics. Thanks, I have too many ideas crammed into my head and on notepad files and always used to give up learning music production before because I found it too hard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bjornpdx Posted October 28, 2019 Share Posted October 28, 2019 Promising tune. I think it does need to be slowed down just a bit or you could rewrite the lyrics using fewer words. The guitar part is really nice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bevan Posted October 28, 2019 Author Share Posted October 28, 2019 (edited) 1 hour ago, bjornpdx said: Promising tune. I think it does need to be slowed down just a bit or you could rewrite the lyrics using fewer words. The guitar part is really nice. Guitar part is missing a few embellishments still and needs to be a bit different at least at the interludes, and maybe that version throughout. It was easy to do it using a piano though. Percussion doesn't need a double beat on every repeat, and I need it to alternate between two tones like a timpani but the sound is close to what it should be. But for now I might just leave it as it is and move onto other ideas as I just need to keep on doing stuff to keep improving. Edited October 28, 2019 by Bhavesh Patel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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