Bob's new wife.

[craigb]

Bob, a 60-year-old and extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful 25-year-old blond.

 

She proceeds to knock everyone's socks off with her youthful appeal and charm, not to mention killer legs and a figure to die for.

 

She also hangs on Bob's arm and listens intently to his every word.  His buddies at the club are all envious.

 

They corner him and ask, "Bob, how'd you get the trophy girlfriend?"  Bob replies, "Girlfriend?  She’s, my wife!"

 

They're knocked over but continue to ask, "So, how'd you persuade her to marry you?"  Bob says, "I lied about my age."

 

His friends respond, "What!  Did you tell her you were only 50???"  Bob smiles and says, "No, I told her I was 90." ?

[kennywtelejazz]

After the honeymoon phase of Bobs relationship ran it's course ,  here's  Bob having a conversation with an old friend .?

 I haven't talked to my wife for two weeks.
Why, you guys having trouble?
No, I just didn't want to interrupt her.

Kenny
 

Edited April 8, 2023 by kennywtelejazz

[craigb]

Friend: "Hey Bob, why are you smiling?"

Bob: "Well, my wife wanted a big diamond, so I bought her one but it just sits in the safe.  Then she wanted an expensive fur coat, so I bought her one and it only stays in a locked closet; she never wears it!  Then she wanted a Jaguar, so I bought her one."

Friend: "Um, ok...  That didn't sound all that great so, again, why are you smiling now?"

Bob: "Well, that Jaguar?  It ate her."

[kennywtelejazz]

Let me see if I got this one right.?

She is 25 years old . She has a youthful appeal and charm .  Plus she has  killer legs and a figure to die for.

Off course The Jaguar eats her !  Wouldn't you ?

Kenny

Edited April 8, 2023 by kennywtelejazz

[Grem]

ROTFLMAO!!

[paulo]

A group of guys live and die for their Saturday morning golf game. One Saturday one of the guys gets a call from the Dr saying that his 5 months pregnant wife needs to have total bed rest for the remainder of the term to protect both her and the baby. Naturally, he tells his friends that he has to leave immediately and will no longer be able to play, so they will have to find someone to take his place in their four way match, or play as a three.

A new female member happened to be walking past and overheard the conversation. " Sorry to butt in she said, "but I couldn't help hearing that you are going to be one down for while......I have nobody to play with  and I'd be happy to make up the numbers."

None of them really wants to say 'yes', and  then have to play within themselves so as not to embarrass her for her shortcomings, but they're on the spot and one man says. " Okay, I guess we could try it for today and see how it goes.... "

She turns out to be an accomplished right-hander and beats all of them easily with an eye-opening 8-under par round. She's fun and pleasant, and the guys are both impressed and a bit miffed. They congratulate her and ask her if she's up for a rematch next week. She says..." ok, but I might be twenty minutes late". They agree that is not a problem.

The next week she shows up on time, but this time she plays left-handed. The three guys are incredulous as she still beats them easily  despite playing with her off-hand. They're totally amazed.

They can't figure her out. She's very pleasant and a gracious winner. They invite her back again, but each man harbours a burning desire to beat her. Once again she agrees with the caveat that she may be 20 mins late.

The third week, she turns up on time, plays right-handed, and again easily beats all three of them.

The men are even more disgruntled and feel they are being played somehow, but  she's so charming and complimentary of their game that  they can't really hold a grudge.

This woman is a riddle no one can figure out. Later, in the Clubhouse one of the men asks her, " I just  have to ask.....you can beat us either way, so how do you decide if you're going to play right-handed or left-handed?"

The lady blushes, and grins. "Well, I'm here alone because my husband hates me getting up early to golf, so before I leave, just to wind him up I always pull the bed covers off him. If his you know what is pointing to the right, I play right-handed; if it points to the left, I play left-handed."

The guys think this is hysterical. Astonished at this bizarre information, one of the guys says, "What if it's pointing straight up?"

She says, "Then I'll be twenty minutes late."

Edited April 8, 2023 by paulo

[kennywtelejazz]

15 hours ago, Grem said:

ROTFLMAO!!

    And They Lived Happily Ever After

 

Hey !! what about me! what about me !! ?

Kenny

Edited April 9, 2023 by kennywtelejazz