How Can You Walk Away ?

[Bert Guy]

Hey all.

Every once in a while I get a decent idea for a pop tune.

On a sweet spring night in New Orleans...

https://www.soundclick.com/music/songInfo.cfm?songID=6495028

[Bajan Blue]

Hi - a good track, have to say though I struggled a bit with the vocal processing - sounded a bit hissy to me.

Apart from that, all good

Nigel

 

[Lynn Wilson]

Bert. this is a lovely song that has a cool vibe.  I like the wide panning in the mix, which makes the instruments easy to  hear and carves out a space for the vocals.  However, I may be hearing a little of what Nigel hears.  Since the mix has a healthy dose of volume, it could be that the limiter or compressor is a little aggressive.  I hear a lack of breathing in the mix which tends to flatline the sound overall.  But, that is all; the vocals are sweet, and the rest of the song is just waiting for a small tweak or two to be stellar!

[DeeringAmps]

Enjoyed the listen.
One note, after On a sweet spring night in New Orleans the next line walks over the top of Orleans.
I think maybe I'd put a measure in there to separate those two lines.
Your song, your production...

t

[SUPAREELS]

Good for a demo idea but the mix is severely lacking making the whole song toppy. Good to see lyrics but your vocal is, in some, places is very low. One last thing is that it's a happy tune with a sad message ...perhaps you meant to do it that way, who knows but you.

I would suggest a remix with the comments here in mind 

[Johnbee58]

Good song but as said, the vocal track is a bit dicey.

?John B

[Bert Guy]

On 3/26/2023 at 12:59 AM, Bajan Blue said:

Hi - a good track, have to say though I struggled a bit with the vocal processing - sounded a bit hissy to me.

Apart from that, all good

Nigel

Nigel,

Thanks for listening. I was concerned about recording this vocal as the song was pitched in D-major- out of my baritone range. But I was  determined to record it in D because that was the way I heard it in my head : an upbeat  Neil Sedaka like piano based pop tune with high pitched male vocal. As a result I probably over compensated with the vox  processing to fatten up my falsetto. And I think that is what you are hearing. I will  tweak the vocal after I get additional input.

Bert

 

Quote

 

 

Edited March 30, 2023 by Bert Guy

[Bert Guy]

On 3/26/2023 at 11:06 AM, Lynn Wilson said:

Bert. this is a lovely song that has a cool vibe.  I like the wide panning in the mix, which makes the instruments easy to  hear and carves out a space for the vocals.  However, I may be hearing a little of what Nigel hears.  Since the mix has a healthy dose of volume, it could be that the limiter or compressor is a little aggressive.  I hear a lack of breathing in the mix which tends to flatline the sound overall.  But, that is all; the vocals are sweet, and the rest of the song is just waiting for a small tweak or two to be stellar!

Lynn,

Always good to hear from you. 

I think your observation is a good one- I did compress the final mix a bit. Easy fix, there- that's what knobs are for. 

Cheers,

Bert

[bjornpdx]

One of those songs that sticks in your head for a while and that's a good thing.

So, just an opinion from a casual listener here but I think the piano follows the melody a bit too much, like it's competing with the vocal. The voc might stand out better if the piano weren't as prominent.
-Bjorn

 

[Keith Wilby]

On 3/28/2023 at 8:39 AM, Supa Reels said:

it's a happy tune with a sad message

I think that that is no bad thing; I've done it myself once or twice and if you can get it to work then I think it works well. It's a bit like in a drama, where someone is being threatening or sinister, to have them eat a sandwich at the same time, a bit like putting the ordinary with the absurd.

Well I know what I mean anyway ?

Here's one I did earlier (I know it's considered bad form to post a link to another song but this is purely to illustrate the point):

https://www.bandlab.com/post/dbf9a90e3b3ee81180c300155d65202b_4894bae075f447dfbd9119b410257cc5

Edited April 14, 2023 by Keith Wilby

[Bert Guy]

On 3/27/2023 at 8:00 AM, DeeringAmps said:

Enjoyed the listen.
One note, after On a sweet spring night in New Orleans the next line walks over the top of Orleans.
I think maybe I'd put a measure in there to separate those two lines.
Your song, your production...

t

DA,

Very interesting observation.  I am glad you made it.

I took multiple liberties with song form (consciously or otherwise) in this song, all with the idea of advancing the story : beginning the song with the chorus, contemplatively  taking down both verses to a slower tune with piano and voice only, changing the lyrics in the final chorus reprise, ,and,  especially the point you reference. What I did there was appropriate the music from the second part of the chorus & write lyrics that formed an extension of the first verse (in lieu of going to the chorus at that point).  I heard it in my head as an overlapping vocal, probably to emphasize its connection to the first verse. At the end of the (non-extended) second verse, there is a proper pause after "on a sweet spring night in New Orleans" before I pop into the chorus.  

Thanks for listening,

Bert

 

[DeeringAmps]

14 hours ago, Bert Guy said:

there is a proper pause after "on a sweet spring night in New Orleans"

Yep, had another listen, somehow I missed it the first go round.

t

[Bert Guy]

On 3/28/2023 at 12:39 AM, Supa Reels said:

Good for a demo idea but the mix is severely lacking making the whole song toppy. Good to see lyrics but your vocal is, in some, places is very low. One last thing is that it's a happy tune with a sad message ...perhaps you meant to do it that way, who knows but you.

I would suggest a remix with the comments here in mind 

 

On 4/4/2023 at 2:34 AM, Keith Wilby said:

I think that that is no bad thing; I've done it myself once or twice and if you can get it to work then I think it works well. It's a bit like in a drama, where someone is being threatening or sinister, to have them eat a sandwich at the same time, a bit like putting the ordinary with the absurd.

Well I know what I mean anyway ?

Here's one I did earlier:

https://www.bandlab.com/post/dbf9a90e3b3ee81180c300155d65202b_4894bae075f447dfbd9119b410257cc5

When I wrote this song, the first thing I got was the chorus and I heard it in my head as upbeat- in D major. In retrospect, I probably was hoping that we could get back together and reestablish the rapport mentioned in the first verse,  and, in any event I wasn't going let it get me down. Hence the upbeat feel.  This song is based on an actual experience and I was genuinely perplexed at the time that it all seemed to have fallen through.  

Cheers,

Bert

BTW, we reunited  a few years later and the pic is us returning to New Orleans for some pre-nuptial fun in 2007.

[Lee Neitzel]

I'm going to echo a lot of what has already been said about the vocals. From your reply it sounds like you might have overprocessed to compensate for a self-conscious thing as you felt maybe you were singing above your range. But, while the performance is certainly breathy, I think you still hit it. I'd try a mix with less processing  and actually push the main vocals up in the mix while bringing down the background (or doubled) take. There are some sibilance issues that got a little distracting where the secondary vocal doesn't hit the S sound at the same time as the lead.

But, mainly, push up the main, kill some effects, and I think it will give a much more natural sound and let the listener focus more on the song itself.

[freddy j]

A good song indeed!  Lots of good suggestions above.  I enjoyed listening and with a few tweaks I think you will have achieved what your are looking for.

[Jesse Screed]

Hello Bert, I really like this song.  It reminds me of Fleetwood Mac.  I really like the piano.  When the guitar finally comes in ti tells a story all on it's own.  One of the poppiest WTF relationships song ever.  Thank you

[Bert Guy]

On 4/3/2023 at 10:32 PM, bjornpdx said:

One of those songs that sticks in your head for a while and that's a good thing.

So, just an opinion from a casual listener here but I think the piano follows the melody a bit too much, like it's competing with the vocal. The voc might stand out better if the piano weren't as prominent.
-Bjorn

 

 

On 4/17/2023 at 1:32 PM, freddy j said:

A good song indeed!  Lots of good suggestions above.  I enjoyed listening and with a few tweaks I think you will have achieved what your are looking for.

 

On 4/19/2023 at 1:33 PM, Jesse Screed said:

Hello Bert, I really like this song.  It reminds me of Fleetwood Mac.  I really like the piano.  When the guitar finally comes in ti tells a story all on it's own.  One of the poppiest WTF relationships song ever.  Thank you

Hey guys,

Your comments about the song itself are very much appreciated.  I consider myself more of a writer/composer than a singer/player, such that if I come up with something I think is good, I may have to keep at it a while until I get something near what I heard in my head.  Hence I've nursed this one along for almost 20 years, having recorded the basic tracks at my apartment in Baton Rouge on Sonar7, taken the tracks to a studio twice to overdub background vocals & GTR, & bass. and to recently add vocals on my current rig (Sonar X3). 

And Jesse, I'll take Fleetwood Mac any day of the week; they are about as good as pop gets after the Beatles.

Cheers,

Bert

[Bert Guy]

On 4/3/2023 at 10:32 PM, bjornpdx said:

One of those songs that sticks in your head for a while and that's a good thing.

So, just an opinion from a casual listener here but I think the piano follows the melody a bit too much, like it's competing with the vocal. The voc might stand out better if the piano weren't as prominent.
-Bjorn

 

Bjorn,

Good observation :  many moons ago when recorded I the basic tracks on Sonar7, among my multiple deficiencies as a player was I didn't know  how to voice lead, and  for that matter, how to play a proper accompaniment in general. When I was doing some mixing recently, I found the piano distracting as well. Unfortunately its embedded in the submix at this point.

Thanks for listening,

Bert