Keith Wilby Posted January 5, 2023 Share Posted January 5, 2023 Probably impossible to answer but I've been messing about with this for a while now and I just can't seem to make it fly. Don't hold back, if you think it sucks then tell me - I don't want to be flogging a dead horse! https://www.bandlab.com/post/fb31277a-068d-ed11-9d7a-000d3a3eed2a 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jesse Screed Posted January 5, 2023 Share Posted January 5, 2023 (edited) yes, it is great excellent mix nice base great arrangement I would only suggest some vocal automation maybe pull back that synthy thing tat comes in around 2:10 otherwise yes it flies count me as one who finds it as good as anything else Edited January 5, 2023 by Jesse Screed forgot something Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Wilby Posted January 6, 2023 Author Share Posted January 6, 2023 Thank Jesse. It's by no means finished mix-wise, I just need to convince myself (or not) that it's worth finishing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul Bush Posted January 6, 2023 Share Posted January 6, 2023 Hi Keith, really good intresting melody, one never knows where its going untill it gets there , I think the synth`s (sax as well)let it down and cheapens what is a great song and the midi drums are not very nice (I use EZdrums 2) this is well worth finishing , its got so much going for it .. I didnt hear any guitar (Iwould say that being a guitarist) good vocal range, lots to play around with cheers P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Wilby Posted January 6, 2023 Author Share Posted January 6, 2023 1 hour ago, Paul Bush said: I think the synth`s (sax as well)let it down and cheapens what is a great song and the midi drums are not very nice That's food for thought Paul, thank you. I'd be interested to know what you don't like about the drums - do you mean when the "loud" drums come in? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul Bush Posted January 6, 2023 Share Posted January 6, 2023 9 hours ago, Keith Wilby said: That's food for thought Paul, thank you. I'd be interested to know what you don't like about the drums - do you mean when the "loud" drums come in? Straight off the bat its a great song Keith , I just didnt like the sound of the drums, its just my personal taste really sorry , the melody really draws one in, so its all there , I´d be really interested to see what you`re going to do with it ...I´ll shut up now before i get myself into more trouble ..cheers P. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KSband Posted January 7, 2023 Share Posted January 7, 2023 I have to agree with Paul the drums are not great. They sound thin and mechanical, not at all like a real sounding kit, maybe that's what you are going for. I like the song but it has a pretty digitized mechanical feel to it. What are you using for drums? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhonoBrainer Posted January 7, 2023 Share Posted January 7, 2023 Well, horses for courses, I believe the saying goes? the real question is, do you think it's worth it? That personal muse provides all the answers you should ever need. I've heard a number of your tunes here, and liked them all. Does it matter what a bunch of tossers think? Likely, not really, no. But you did graciously invite some critiques so I'd say for me, I found the musical parts and the arrangement very interesting, lots of great instrumentation choices, a hooky melody, with a lot of potential for mixing, and I think there is room in this world for this wonderful music! I also thought the music was much, much more interesting than the lyrics. Your inventive song structure could be used to say something a little off the well-beaten "love" path? Something more powerful or opaque? Just a thought, worth what? Probably not that much. If it is speaking to you, never mind the background noise, go straight at it. cheers! -Tom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Wilby Posted January 7, 2023 Author Share Posted January 7, 2023 7 hours ago, PhonoBrainer said: Well, horses for courses, I believe the saying goes? the real question is, do you think it's worth it? That personal muse provides all the answers you should ever need. I've heard a number of your tunes here, and liked them all. Does it matter what a bunch of tossers think? Likely, not really, no. But you did graciously invite some critiques so I'd say for me, I found the musical parts and the arrangement very interesting, lots of great instrumentation choices, a hooky melody, with a lot of potential for mixing, and I think there is room in this world for this wonderful music! I also thought the music was much, much more interesting than the lyrics. Your inventive song structure could be used to say something a little off the well-beaten "love" path? Something more powerful or opaque? Just a thought, worth what? Probably not that much. If it is speaking to you, never mind the background noise, go straight at it. cheers! -Tom Thanks Tom ? You know, I was just thinking the same thing about the lyrics and maybe that's what's stopping me from liking it unreservedly. They don't make an awful lot of sense for a start but I've had the song in my head for so long ... I'll put me thinking cap on. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Wilby Posted January 7, 2023 Author Share Posted January 7, 2023 8 hours ago, KSband said: What are you using for drums? I'm using the EZ Drummer 3 "tight/small" room kit for the first bit (going for the Paul Simon "Fifty Ways" sound) and Addictive Drums 2 for the second bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bajan Blue Posted January 7, 2023 Share Posted January 7, 2023 Hi Keith I really think this has the makings of a great song - I agree about the drums - i think its the addictive drums that sound a bit off to me -why not EZDrummer all the way through? Apart from that, pretty cool track Nigel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FreeEarCandy Posted January 7, 2023 Share Posted January 7, 2023 (edited) I think you have a lot of interesting material in this that can go in any direction. I like the pallet of elements used. 2nd listen is telling me, Yeah. I would cut the intro and ride with this horse to the end. No beating necessary. Nice gentle and soft beginning that builds and intensifies to a full gallop. Lean into it. Dean Edited January 7, 2023 by FreeEarCandy 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Parsons Posted January 7, 2023 Share Posted January 7, 2023 First off - this is a cool song! I think you should definitely continue to refine and improve the parts. Nice vocal performance and overall arrangement is interesting. I agree with the previous comments already expressed on the drums. They do seem a little lacking. It all comes down to personal taste (of course) but I would look for samples that sound a little more nuanced and "Real". I also agree that the lyrics could use more work. They seem quite generic and could a more personal approach. This is a great start. In writing, almost all writers write a first draft to get ideas down. The real work starts with the 2nd draft, 3rd draft, etc. -- where ideas are refined and changes are made. These revisions happen many times before most authors are happy with the finished product. Keep Going! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Joad Posted January 7, 2023 Share Posted January 7, 2023 The vocal reminds me of Joe Walsh a little bit, yeah, the song is good?? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Wilby Posted January 8, 2023 Author Share Posted January 8, 2023 On 1/7/2023 at 11:55 AM, Bajan Blue said: why not EZDrummer all the way through? It's a "quiet" kit at the start and I couldn't find a way of including two instances of EZD without crashing CbB so I opted for AD for the "loud" kit. Of course, this is potentially now all up in the air as I consider all of these useful comments so far ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Larry T. Posted January 10, 2023 Share Posted January 10, 2023 Keep it going. It has some really good aspects to it that are worth pursuing. Specifically, the interplay/choice of notes you have between the instruments. Don't hear too many songs that have the attention grabbing potential this one has. ???? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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