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Posted

Maybe Jack's right, add percussion on the verse after coming out of the first chorus.

The "radio friendly" mix; I'd pull the first run thru of the second chorus.
You did some changes to the harmonies there, nice touch.
3 minute rocker here so take any suggestions with a grain of salt.

Overall, ?'s

t

  • Like 1
Posted

Great story, is it about someone you know.  If you let her go, she might very well return.

Like the bass and the backing vox.  I like it all really.

well crafted and I can tell you put a lot of work into this.

kudos!

  • Like 1
Posted

Hi jack c,

Glad you noticed my intentional out of tune notes to give it a more country feel ? 

I left the rhythm arrangement spartan so that the guitar part could ring out clearly but I'll have another listen.

Thank you for taking the time to listen and comment.

Hi Tom,

Thanks for listening and commenting + your suggestions for a better 3 minute pop mix, it is really appreciated.

Hi Bapu,

 Glad you liked the song + thanks for listening and commenting it means a lot.

best wishes

paul

Posted

Hi paul, very nice song....you have a very good conception (feel, flavor, instrumentation, tempo) of the piece already so it's now just a matter of taste and exactly how you want to see it realized...to my ears there isn't much to change....i would shorten it to around 3:40 and maybe add some piano and a few electric guitar touches ????

  • Like 1
Posted

Hey Paul, this is a terrific demo of your song -- nice arrangement with good vocals and sweet acoustic guitars -- (wish I could get acoustics to sound that good -- one of the major banes of my recording existence!) :) Allan.

  • Like 1
Posted

Paul, that strumming chord progression at the beginning sounds like something from America (the band)
I like your pop styling and story telling lyrics.
Nice job.
-Bjorn

  • Like 1
Posted

Sounds OK Paul, has some independent vocal characteristics, which is cool, I mean at least your vocal does not kill at a parsec or two like mine ;) 

  • Like 1
Posted

Hmm very nice, I like the stripped back nature of it so not sure I'd be looking to add a lot more to this. Great job.

Andy

Posted

Hi Makke,

Glad you liked the Pop sound thanks for listening.

Hi Larry T,

Thanks for your suggestions about extra guitars and piano + thanks for listening.

Hi freddy j,

Thank you for your kind comments.

Thank you all for listening and commenting, it means a lot.

best wishes 

paul

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