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Now That's What I Call A Coronavirus Christmas (warning, contains the odd mild expletive)


AndyB01

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OK so this is a serious issue - I get that - but we all need a little light relief from it - right?

Some of you may have seen this video (which is getting shared like crazy online) comprising clips from spoof Xmas Songs but there are only clips, not full spoof versions of the songs featured (whether there will be remains to be seen).

So my sister sent it to me and after having a good laugh, I felt inspired to see if I could write the lyrics for one of the songs on the album. And so friends (and I really do apologise so sincerely to the wonderful Johnny Mathis), I give you - new for 2020 - my version of "When A Mask Is Worn"

If you're not in the UK, some of the humour may not translate so here's a mini cultural guide to the lyrics:

Matt Hancock is our award-winning Health Secretary

Boris, of course, is the UK PM (less said, the better) renowned for metaphors in press conferences that refer to cavalry horns and bugle tooting

Pubs are places we love to consume beer and chat for hours about nothing of any significance - but they're all closed so we're all getting smashed at home

mRNA of course is the smart new Pfizer vaccine - around £20 a shot (probably the one the politicians will get) compared to the Oxford vaccine at a mere £3 a shot (which is the cheaper one we'll all get) ?

Disclaimer: the mRNA vaccine may not actually make you immortal - that may have been poetic licence on my part ?

Anyway - enough rambling - here are the lyrics and the song - I hope it makes you smile (I apologise if it didn't)

A vial of hope
Sits frozen in a block
Encased in ice
So says Matt Hancock
At his vaccine plans
Doctors laugh and scorn
This comes to pass
When a mask is worn

COVID-19
Crosses land and sea
It’s out to get
Folks like you and me
But as the bugle toots
Boris sounds his horn
This comes to pass
When a mask is worn
 
A drunken hue
Settles in the air
We’re all so pissed
We’ve passed out in the chair
We may be locked at home
But as always, here’s the rub
This comes to pass
When you close the pub
 
So for the few
A new reality
mRNA
And immortality
But it will come true
For Boris said it clear
We’ll all be saved, now
The cheapskate vaccine’s here

Ten thousand planes
Take off in the sky
Masks are burned
The smoke thrown way up high
All across the land
Dawns a brand new morn
This comes to pass
When a mask is worn

Yes this comes to pass
When a mask is worn

 

I'm not looking for nits and crits as I really threw this together quickly (as you can probably tell), it's just for a bit of fun.

Keep safe everyone

Andy

 

Edited by AndyB01
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