Critical Chameleon Posted December 1, 2020 Share Posted December 1, 2020 (edited) Hey guys! Been working on a new track I wouldn't mind getting some feedback on. Don't have a lot of people listening to my tracks, but you guys always seem to be commenting which is highly appreciated Intro. “It’s time to move to the stage everyone” “Time for Critical Comedian” Comedian? Is she saying comedian? I can’t believe this shit, god damnit What the… ma… let’s just get this over with Mic test, one two, alright You know, I've heard stories (“here we go again”) These ***** stories (“bloody cry baby”) A million times Everyone keeps telling them D’you know what they say? Chorus. They say there's a place for everyone They say so, but I can't seem to find my way I can't seem to find my way I can't seem to find my way I'm so damn lost Verse 1. Ever since a child I've had the darkness concern me I always knew that it was part of the journey But aging back then it seemed so far to be thirty It isn't anymore and now I'm starting to worry Looking at the stars, at the dark and uncertain How should I play all the cards I've been earnin'? Somebody tell me cuz my heart isn't workin' Yeah, I've painted pictures, but the art is all blurry Jeez..... I'm all over the place Doesn’t this damn roller coaster have brakes? One day I'm a mess the next I'm overly great Every time I smell success it's like that odor is fake .......Now I'm changed and I'm feeling weak Cuz I don't even know what succeeding means .......I always preach to believe in dreams, but I'm no longer sure if mine's misleading me Chorus. They say there's a place for everyone They say so, but I can't seem to find my way I can't seem to find my way I can't seem to find my way I'm so damn lost They say there's a place for everyone They say so, but I can't seem to find my way I can't seem to find my way I can't seem to find my way I'm so damn lost Verse 2. It seems like all my life I've been searching but blind I've been looking when I dunno what I'm searching to find I've, been on trips like surfing my mind Had a visit to the void and saw the perfect divine I've faced death, yep, left earth all behind Yet, I don't get, what's worthy my time, let's Ask the voices that are lurking inside Get a hundred different answers now which version am I? Money, fame and glory? Or is a simple way my story? How the hell can I tell how it happily ends? Should I just spend all my time with my family and friends? I'm overwhelmed................. stocked with emotion And still I feel like nothing but a drop in the ocean I really wish I could stop for a moment Though life may be cold, but the clock's never frozen Chorus. They say there's a place for everyone They say so, but I can't seem to find my way I can't seem to find my way I can't seem to find my way I'm so damn lost They say there's a place for everyone They say so, but I can't seem to find my way I can't seem to find my way I can't seem to find my way I'm so damn lost Outro. Wow… not a single reaction The hell is this crowd? I gotta get outta here Now where the *****’s the exit? Yo, anyone know how to get out of this mall? “Not me mate, I’m also lost” “Yeah, me too” “Dude, we’re all lost” Edited December 2, 2020 by Critical Chameleon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wookiee Posted December 2, 2020 Share Posted December 2, 2020 You might want to warn that you use language that some may find offensive in the subject line @Critical Chameleon. Not my thing but the mix sounds reasonable here on the Adam's, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critical Chameleon Posted December 2, 2020 Author Share Posted December 2, 2020 To be honest, I'd rather have people stop being offended by everything all the time these days as human beings are a joke. But for the sake of receiving feedback for nothing, which I'm thankful of, sure thing. I could do that. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndyB01 Posted December 2, 2020 Share Posted December 2, 2020 This is really not my thing but I thought your intro/ outro construct was cleverly done. I saw the sheer volume of lyrics and thought 'this can't work' but you have made it work. The vibe was a good one and your vox performance was well-executed I thought and the mix on my headphones sounded balanced. Wookster is right about the lyrics, always worth an advisory although the odd expletive didn't worry me too much. Thanks for posting, it was an interesting listen and I can see that a lot of work has gone into this. Andy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Douglas Kirby Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 That was interesting - I thought this would be a good Broadway number in a musical. I really enjoyed the lyrics - nicely done. I thought the mix sounded quite good to my ears. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bjornpdx Posted December 3, 2020 Share Posted December 3, 2020 I read the lyrics first then wrote comments while listening. You set this up nicely with the "Critical Comedian" bit at the beginning. Really good cadence and rhyming (..concern me/...journey Nice!) I like the totally different style of the chorus. Words are going by too fast. Great outro. Made me think of Hotel California (he said across the generation chasm) I don't listen to this genre so I don't know what the usual topics are. Seems like you're in an early mid-life crisis or something. You put a lot of thought into this and you express it very well but it all would have been lost on me if I hadn't read the lyrics first. The words went by too fast to appreciate them (to me anyway). I really like how you laid out the song and the production is good, but might be better to somehow make it easier for the listener to get what you're saying. Depends on the audience I suppose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critical Chameleon Posted December 4, 2020 Author Share Posted December 4, 2020 Thanks a lot guys, appreciate everything you're saying, much valued. @bjornpdx yeah, I've had a early mid-life crisis forever. Planning on bringing it in to my mid late-life crisis! This song I wrote 1½ years ago. Things are a little different now, though I've always been lost in one way or another. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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