"In 2020 - Part 2"

[Lee Shapiro]

When I wrote "In 2020" (part 1), it was around February, just before all the bad stuff started happening (pandemic, choke holds, BLM, protests, riots, etc).  So I figured if I wrote a song with 2020 in the title, it needs to include all that stuff that this year will be remembered for.  So I wrote this "Part 2" to include everything since the first part.
And just a warning, the song does tend to get political....more specifically, not so nice things about Trump.   So if you're a Trump supporter, you might not want to listen to this.

The lyrics are included at the  bottom of the song page (of the link).  Some of the lyrics are kind of hard to understand, which is a combination of me missing a couple of teeth and perhaps the need for better mixing/mastering.  So I might take another go at that. 
Anyway, comments and critiques are always welcome.  Thanks for listening.

https://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=14073335

[DeeringAmps]

Great stuff here Lee. Really like that B3, well done!

Now for the but, its too long. Your tune, your production; I'd shorten it.

In the bridge I'd add; for a second civil war.
I think you need the extra syllables.

Again, loved it; ? ?!

t

[Lee Shapiro]

Hey Tom, thanks for the feedback, I appreciate it.
My songs usually average between 4 and 7 minutes.  (probably a result from being a Deadhead, and into jam songs)
I think the problem with this song is not that it is too long, it's that I ran out of ways to keep it interesting at the end.
The last parts are just alternating organ and guitar leads.  I could have either chopped a couple of those off, or found a different musical part to keep it interesting.
I just don't like writing short 3 minute songs with the "verse chorus verse chorus bridge chorus" structure.  I like to build creative sections that are the opposite of being "radio friendly".     I'm sure most listeners of my songs would prefer shorter versions, but it's just not me. (But I try to find a happy medium)
Any artistic or creative endeavor I do is always long or busy.  (this reply is a good example).  When I write, I write long paragraphs. When I paint or draw, the finished work is usually busy.     But anyway, I get your point and thank you for the suggestion.

Which leads to the last thing about adding an extra word in the bridge. Yes, you're right, "second civil war" would fit better.
But again, I'm coming from a place where the original lyrics had TOO MANY words, and I ended up cutting a lot of them out to better fit the melody.  So in this case, I might have trimmed off a little too much.
Thanks again for listening and for your feedback!

Edited July 5, 2020 by Lee Shapiro

[bjornpdx]

Lee
I made some notes while listening:

Love the piano in the intro, not only the playing but the melody.
Voc reverb seems just about  right
Wonderful lyrics and not just because I agree with the sentiment.  crashes/Fascists, Trump/dumped. You have a good feel for words.  
That guitar solo is great. Maybe could have had it come in earlier?
The song is arranged really well. I'd put it at a professional level.

Overall I'm pretty impressed with your musicianship.

I really hope 2020 part 3 will be way more upbeat!

 

[DeeringAmps]

13 hours ago, Lee Shapiro said:

My songs usually average between 4 and 7 minutes. I just don't like writing short 3 minute songs.

Lee, I get it. There's a fine line when reviewing, its easy to say too much. That's why I always add "Your tune, your production".
Most important thing for an artist; stay true to your convictions.
I have a "Dead" story, but then I would be guilty of:

13 hours ago, Lee Shapiro said:

long or busy.  (this reply is a good example). 

Another time maybe, over three fingers of tequila? uhmm...

13 hours ago, Lee Shapiro said:

the original lyrics had TOO MANY words

I fight this all the time, I hear it in others work; another "fine" line we all walk.
Structure is important in poetry and song writing, rhythm, meter, and message; but in what order?
Depends...

Again, Great Tune!

t

[Lee Shapiro]

22 hours ago, bjornpdx said:

Lee
I made some notes while listening:

Love the piano in the intro, not only the playing but the melody.
Voc reverb seems just about  right
Wonderful lyrics and not just because I agree with the sentiment.  crashes/Fascists, Trump/dumped. You have a good feel for words.  
That guitar solo is great. Maybe could have had it come in earlier?
The song is arranged really well. I'd put it at a professional level.

Overall I'm pretty impressed with your musicianship.

I really hope 2020 part 3 will be way more upbeat!

 

Thanks for your review.  It's music to my ears. (sorry, bad pun)
As was mentioned before, many of us seem to be our own worst critics, and when I read something like this, it really gives me a boost of confidence and makes me think, well maybe it's not the worst thing I've ever written.
So thank you again.  And after decades of songwriting and recording, I'm still having fun learning new techniques, especially when it comes to mixing and mastering.
 

[David Sprouse]

Great musicianship all around.   This would make a great soundtrack for a documentary about this year. ( I can't believe no one's talking about the parallels between the beginning of the last century and this one.)  Your recordings sound so pro.

Edited July 6, 2020 by David Sprouse

[Lee Shapiro]

3 hours ago, David Sprouse said:

Great musicianship all around.   This would make a great soundtrack for a documentary about this year. ( I can't believe no one's talking about the parallels between the beginning of the last century and this one.)  Your recordings sound so pro.

Thanks David.  Yeah, that would be cool if a documentary filmmaker wanted to use my song.  Of course they'd probably want a famous musician singing the vocals....maybe Springsteen.  LOL!