Puns Anyone? Got 'em? Post 'em.

[Notes_Norton]

This one is terrible:

My neighbor texted me, "I just made synonym buns!"

I texted back, "You mean like grammar use to make?"

I haven't heard from her since.

[craigb]

1 hour ago, Notes_Norton said:

This one is terrible:

My neighbor texted me, "I just made synonym buns!"

I texted back, "You mean like grammar use to make?"

I haven't heard from her since.

Sounds possessive, but definitely not good for your colon!

It makes the grade though and, if you want some proof, I give it a "d" (it needs one after the "e" in "use" anyway?). 

[kennywtelejazz]

5 hours ago, Notes_Norton said:

This one is terrible:

My neighbor texted me, "I just made synonym buns!"

I texted back, "You mean like grammar use to make?"

I haven't heard from her since.

Ouch ! this Pun is terrible ? 

If it was set to music the only  musical score that would work with this pun is  the sound of nails scraping on a blackboard .?

 

Kenny 

Edited October 9, 2020 by kennywtelejazz

[Notes_Norton]

When you put things to music  Kenny, you can say some pretty stupid things and get away with it.

Example:

||: Get up and boogie
Get up and boogie
Get up and boogie
That's Right :||

Repeat until you are thoroughly nauseated.

[Notes_Norton]

Cleaning mirrors is a job I could really see myself doing.

[Wibbles]

30 minutes ago, Notes_Norton said:

Cleaning mirrors is a job I could really see myself doing.

After a moment's reflection, you'll realise that was a bad idea.

[Notes_Norton]

Warning: This one is terrible.....

The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. 

He acquired his size from too much pi.

 

[craigb]

6 hours ago, Notes_Norton said:

Warning: This one is terrible.....

The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. 

He acquired his size from too much pi.

 

That one gets around, ya? ?

[RobertWS]

Never talk to Pi. He’ll go on forever.

Edited October 14, 2020 by RobertWS

[Notes_Norton]

17 hours ago, RobertWS said:

Never talk to Pi. He’ll go on forever.

But he never repeats himself.

[craigb]

52 minutes ago, Notes_Norton said:

But he never repeats himself.

How irrational!!!

[RobertWS]

5 hours ago, Notes_Norton said:

But he never repeats himself.

I can't think of a good rejoinder.

I'll circle around and get back to you.

[Notes_Norton]

How 'bout a pizza pi with becan on top?

[craigb]

3 hours ago, Notes_Norton said:

How 'bout a pizza pi with becan on top?

[Wibbles]

On 10/15/2020 at 12:09 AM, craigb said:

How irrational!!!

But so transcendental, man!

Edited October 16, 2020 by Wibbles

[Notes_Norton]

9 hours ago, craigb said:

Brilliant!

[Doc H]

 

[craigb]

I hear Viagra is going to be sponsoring voter booths to overcome election dysfunction.

(Ok, it's bad, but it's an original! ?)

[Wibbles]

42 minutes ago, craigb said:

I hear Viagra is going to be sponsoring voter booths to overcome election dysfunction.

(Ok, it's bad, but it's an original! ?)

Edited October 16, 2020 by Wibbles

[bats brew]

Do you really feel qualified?

 

A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, ‘Let’s talk. I’ve heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.’

The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, ‘What would you like to talk about?’

‘Oh, I don’t know,’ said the stranger. ‘How about nuclear power?’

and he smiles.

OK, ‘she said. ‘That could be an interesting topic.
But let me ask you a question first.  A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?’

The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thinks about it and says, ‘Hmmm, I have no idea.’

To which the little girl replies, ‘Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don’t know sh!t?