Notes_Norton Posted August 30 Author Share Posted August 30 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craigb Posted August 30 Share Posted August 30 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Notes_Norton Posted August 31 Author Share Posted August 31 Waking up this morning was an eye-opening experience. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grem Posted August 31 Share Posted August 31 23 minutes ago, Notes_Norton said: Waking up this morning was an eye-opening experience. And a happy one! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craigb Posted August 31 Share Posted August 31 (But, how does he know he's actually awake??? 🤔😜) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paulo Posted August 31 Share Posted August 31 1 hour ago, craigb said: (But, how does he know he's actually awake??? 🤔😜) I know it's considered bad form to share your dreams and all that, but this is kind of relevant here......a few years ago I had one of those really, really real ones where in the dream I woke up and I was only 12 so everything that I thought had been my life since then was in fact a dream. It was really freaky, but then I woke up.... Or did I? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bjornpdx Posted August 31 Share Posted August 31 (edited) My dog accidentally swallowed a whole bag of scrabble tiles. We took him to the vet to get him checked out. No word yet… I told my doctor I have a problem with my left ear. “Are you sure?” I replied, “Yeah, I’m definite.” Michael Jackson put out some very good albums. But I think we can all agree his 7th album was Bad. I come from a family of failed magicians. I have 2 half sisters Cow farts come from the dairy air. What's the difference between gray and grey? One is a color and the other is a colour. I recently got squashed by a load of books... I've only got my shelf to blame. How do you make 7 even? You take away the s. I love going outdoors. It’s so much safer than going out windows. Is it crazy how saying sentences backwards creates backwards sentences saying how crazy it is? credit: ThePunnyWorld Edited August 31 by bjornpdx 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Notes_Norton Posted September 1 Author Share Posted September 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Notes_Norton Posted September 2 Author Share Posted September 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craigb Posted September 3 Share Posted September 3 Here, have a few! 😁 One tequila, two tequila, three tequila... Floor. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes? The main reason that Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live! If a deaf child signs swear words, does his mother wash his hands with soap? If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? Is there another word for synonym? Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?" What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant? If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages? Would a fly without wings be called a walk? Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will break-in and clean them? If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? Can vegetarians eat animal crackers? If the police arrest a mute, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? Why do they put braille on the drive-through bank machines? How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs? What was the best thing before sliced bread? One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people! Does the little mermaid wear an algaebra? Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? How is it possible to have a civil war? If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too? If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry? If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of “as steroids"? Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them? Why is there an expiration date on sour cream? If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times, does he become disoriented? Can an atheist get insurance against acts of God? Why do shops have signs that say 'Guide dogs only!' when the dogs can't read and their owners are blind? 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Notes_Norton Posted September 4 Author Share Posted September 4 How do you organize a space party? You planet! 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
57Gregy Posted September 4 Share Posted September 4 On 9/3/2024 at 4:38 PM, craigb said: Is there another word for synonym? Rogetic. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Notes_Norton Posted September 5 Author Share Posted September 5 I've got a chicken-proof front lawn. It's impeccable! 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xoo Posted September 5 Share Posted September 5 Why did the chicken cross the road? Be-caws. You have to say this one out loud. Preferably very loud in someone's ear... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craigb Posted September 5 Share Posted September 5 What's the difference between being kinky and being perverted? A kinky person uses a feather, the pervert uses the entire chicken! Why did the pervert cross the road? He was chasing the chicken... 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
57Gregy Posted September 6 Share Posted September 6 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Notes_Norton Posted September 6 Author Share Posted September 6 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Notes_Norton Posted September 7 Author Share Posted September 7 I wanted to be an astronaut when I was a kid, but my parents told me the sky was the limit. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Notes_Norton Posted September 8 Author Share Posted September 8 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craigb Posted September 8 Share Posted September 8 They sure are pining! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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