Wash Away (feedback appreciated)

[illerill]

Hi guys,

Posted the lyrics here about three weeks ago and now finally the song is coming together  It's not mastered yet, but the mix is pretty much final unless you have any ideas.

All feedback is much appreciated. I'm behind vocals and text so for me that's the most important part, but as I want the mix to be as good as possible I'd appreciate feedback on that as well. Not sure if any back vocals should be increased slightly in volume or if it's good as it is. Lyrics follow below. Btw, first track I ever sing on completely. I used to be a rapper.

Verse 1.

It was a good time, it was a good life
I had it all planned, never would I
Fall and flee, had it all in reach

(see)

I was the king I, saw no obstacles
In my ring I, was unstoppable                 
All was great, now all has changed 

Intro to chorus.

Cuz I don't know, where I should go
All I know is this feeling
I seem okay, but I'm not great                
Every day, oh I'm dreaming

Chorus.

I just wanna be clear
I don't wanna be here
I don't wanna feel fear
I just wanna see hear
Touch the waves
Pain, pain wash away (x2)

Verse 2.

Been a long search, on a brief trip
Taken wrong turns, often beefing            
With myself, tell me is this my hell?

(so)

Many dumb words, some are unheard
I've been told I'm, not a songbird
I've believed, this evil guy in me

Intro to chorus.

Now I don't know, where I should go
All I know is this feeling
I seem okay, but I'm not great                
Every day, oh I'm dreaming

Chorus.

I just wanna be clear
I don't wanna be here
I don't wanna feel fear
I just wanna see hear
Touch the waves
Pain, pain wash away (x2)

Verse 3.

Is it worthless? Or is this my shot?
Such a circus, I know that I've got
Much to give, the strongest lust to live

(But) 

Is it too late? Or is it today?
I start walking, on my true way
Step by step so I can get som rest

Intro to chorus.

Cuz I do know where I should go
Yet all I hold is this feeling
I seem okay but I'm not great                 
Every day, oh I'm dreaming

Chorus.

I just wanna be clear
I don't wanna be here
I don't wanna feel fear
I just wanna see hear
Touch the waves
Pain, pain wash away (x2)

[DeeringAmps]

On the Bose cans here the bass guitar is a little light (not well defined), and Bose are pretty "hyped" in the low end.
Otherwise well done man!

t

Welcome to the forum...

[Paul Bush]

This really isnt my type of song , but I gave it a go anyway , and you bloody well nailed it and got me convinced that his could be ``my sort of song´´ , those backing vocals sold it to me  and the intro with the doubled acoustic guitares  just lovely  ..lots of space and really good lyrics this was one of the best yet thanks for inspiring me

[illerill]

Thank you guys, much appreciated!

I'll let my mixing man known about the bass and hear what he has to say about it. 

I heard from one person that he felt like the vocals didn't entirely belong to the music. Is this something you reacted on?

[Douglas Kirby]

I agree with DeeringAmps - I thought the bass was a little light in the mix as well.  Nice job on the vocal -and I really enjoyed your lyrics in the song. I did think your vocal could have used a bit more reverb - maybe that's why someone mentioned it not feeling like it belonged to the music.

It's a catchy tune - the type you sing along too.

[illerill]

Thanks for the feedback Douglas!

We've made some edits. 

- Bass more definied
- Added some more vocals to intro
- Added back vocals to chorus
- Back vocals are slightly higher in volume
- Changed up second chorus
- Added a toy piano