Keith Wilby Posted February 1, 2020 Share Posted February 1, 2020 This is another song from my 90s archive. Recorded direct to stereo tape using a backing created on a Yamaha SQ-16 keyboard/sequencer. Mastered using Bandlab. I'd be interested in opinions on this because it tackles the very delicate subject of mental well-being. The lyrics were written by a friend of mine in the 1980s as a result of watching "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest", so I guess "Johnny" is based on Patrick McMurphy. Listening to it now through my 60 year old ears, some of the sound effects are a bit corny and probably patronising, but I'm considering re-recording it a bit more sympathetically, since I have had my mental well-being moments, though nothing too serious, but in a twist of supreme irony, my friend who wrote the lyrics ended up committing suicide about 5 years ago because her own mental health had deteriorated so much (long story). Anyway, that's not a sob story, just a bit of background, so opinions welcome as always. https://www.bandlab.com/wilbyforce/saysjohnny-c1aa1432?revId=d96f3b74-0445-ea11-a601-2818789a1e8a 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Sprouse Posted February 1, 2020 Share Posted February 1, 2020 Interesting. I like your style. The drone-like feeling of the rhythm and harmony recreates that feeling of being institutionalized 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhonoBrainer Posted February 1, 2020 Share Posted February 1, 2020 It does call up the institution. Very well sung and it certainly draws you in. The chorus is very inventive. You obviously aren't going for a pop mix! But I'd vote for vocals up, and your only bass element really is that lower tabla or kick drum, ( bum - - bum bum) and I think if you update this, that lower element could be a lot stronger. The heartbeat needs a bit more ooompf methinks. It's creepy and precarious in the vibe, and the vocal treatment fits that perfectly well. good one! -Tom 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jesse Screed Posted February 2, 2020 Share Posted February 2, 2020 Sorry to hear about your friend, whenever somebody I know commits suicide, and there has been one less than a handful, I always wonder if there was something I could have done. Great tune, very sad, I'm going to go watch some cartoons now. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeeringAmps Posted February 3, 2020 Share Posted February 3, 2020 Another "snapshot" of where you were creatively and technically in the 90's. Would I, should you, approach the mix differently in the 2020's? Your song, your production. Well done, I think you and your collaborator nailed it. Sorry to hear about her untimely passing. t 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freddy j Posted February 3, 2020 Share Posted February 3, 2020 The lyrics definitely address the problem of mental illness today. I very much like the hollow Fx that you have on the vocal. This effect seems to echo the message of the lyrics. I believe that the arrangement and instrumentation effectively convey a mood that also matches the lyrics. Ya, this might not be of a pop genre but it certainly is an effective piece. Well done. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Wilby Posted July 1, 2022 Author Share Posted July 1, 2022 Not sure if I should have started a new thread for this but here's a recently revamped version. It sill uses the same sounds but it's mixed and mastered using Bandlab. Gone are the static clicks and the tape hiss. https://www.bandlab.com/post/0afa6f2b-77f8-ec11-b47a-281878315d59 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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