Lady in the Lake

[Keith Wilby]

Hi all, here's another project (I think) I've nearly finished. Based loosely on a murder that happened close to where I live some time ago, the story unfolds from the murderer's viewpoint as he taunts his victim, his wife.

It's definitely an "album track" owing to its duration but I'm hoping it has enough going on to carry it without anyone yawning, but please do shout up if you do yawn and it's my fault.

I hope you enjoy it despite my woeful attempts to play lead guitar.
 

 

[DeeringAmps]

The guitar work is fine, you played to the song; that, after all, is our job. As too length, its not like you "endlessly noodled" on the guitar for 6 trips through a 12 bar; it took 6 minutes to tell your story. Dress up the drum track a bit and print it!

Tom

[mark skinner]

Keith , I thought the vocals were Superb as well as the guitar work.  That was a very Scary song.   mark

[Keith Wilby]

2 hours ago, mark skinner said:

Keith , I thought the vocals were Superb as well as the guitar work.  That was a very Scary song.   mark

Many thanks Mark, I was trying to make it as sinister sounding as I could

[PhonoBrainer]

Cool and yet, not cool, thematically. It's a dark tale orchestrated by Pink Floyd and sung by Peter Gabriel? Pretty awesome neighborhood. The song, that is, not the one in the song. 

You might bring that snare forward and make it more of a powerful contributor by pulling back a bit on ye olde reverb. Have you tried the snare crackin' right up front? Just a thought - maybe the tune would pick up a little more drive with a more present snare. But the drive is already there, it's a grinder.

A couple of compression-y overload crackles? I dunno, :26?   5:00?  

That's a really cool vocal performance, dude. I didn't mind the length. Good tune, good job!

 

cheers,

-Tom

 

 

[Keith Wilby]

1 hour ago, emeraldsoul said:

Cool and yet, not cool, thematically. It's a dark tale orchestrated by Pink Floyd and sung by Peter Gabriel? Pretty awesome neighborhood. The song, that is, not the one in the song. 

You might bring that snare forward and make it more of a powerful contributor by pulling back a bit on ye olde reverb. Have you tried the snare crackin' right up front? Just a thought - maybe the tune would pick up a little more drive with a more present snare. But the drive is already there, it's a grinder.

A couple of compression-y overload crackles? I dunno, :26?   5:00?  

That's a really cool vocal performance, dude. I didn't mind the length. Good tune, good job!

 

cheers,

-Tom

 

 

Thanks Tom, I'll check my project for those crackles. Mightily flattered by the Floyd and Gabriel references, they're giants to me. Will tinker with the snare as suggested, I might be old but one is never too old to learn. Happy to know that the vocal is appreciated as I've never been confident in my voice, although I've tried to make it sound as if the storyteller is getting more and more depraved as the song progresses 

[David Sprouse]

This is brilliant.  Love your voice.  Lyrics are great.  How did you make that pointillistic sound in the background, it kind of sounds like a fairlight? 

Edited January 12, 2020 by David Sprouse

[Pete Laramee]

This is great.  It's creepy, but in a good way.

 

[bjornpdx]

Everything's very well done esp the vocal. Pretty sinister sounding dude. He's saying all this to his wife? Who is still alive? Wow.
I thought at first that your other post about the Scorned Woman was related to this song, like they're both part of the same story, but guess not.
Seems to me like you need another song or more to tell the whole story.

Nits
I wanted the guitar to stand out more at ~3:35
The song is pretty long, though it didn't seem that way the first time through. On the second listen I noticed that the lyrics kept repeating themselves, so I don't know, you could trim a bit there. Just my lonely opinion.

[amiller]

This is my kind of music...brilliant!??

[Paul Bush]

Sinister and dark with  a really good orignal story line ,really good, after listening I wouldnt walk home alone  . not even Kevin

[Keith Wilby]

20 hours ago, bjornpdx said:

I wanted the guitar to stand out more at ~3:35
On the second listen I noticed that the lyrics kept repeating themselves, so I don't know, you could trim a bit there. Just my lonely opinion.

Hi Bjorn and thanks for your comments. In the real life story, the murderer disposed of his wife's body in a lake called Coniston Water in NW England, which is surrounded by hills. In my mind I had the guitarist playing atop one of the hills and the murderer hearing it in the distance as he tipped the body out of his boat, which is why it's relatively quiet there.

Good point about the repeated lyrics, I'll have a think about that one. Thanks again.

[Keith Wilby]

23 hours ago, David Sprouse said:

How did you make that pointillistic sound in the background, it kind of sounds like a fairlight?

Hi David, I'm not sure which background noise you mean but it might well be the monotonic piano with a Lennon-esque tape echo on it.

[Keith Wilby]

This is much the same as the previous iteration except that the part in the middle has completely new words since one of the comments was that there was some repetition. I think it makes a big difference.

https://www.bandlab.com/wilbyforce/lady-4d0c17d4?revId=bff1bd5c-bd37-ea11-a601-2818789a1e8a

[Wookiee]

A little variety in the drums would be cool but other than that sound OK here.

[dcumpian]

Vocal performance is top notch! I do agree with Wookie that some variation in the drums, like a fill here and there, maybe adding some complexity to the rhythm as the song unfolds.

Nice job on this one!

Dan