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Opinions please about an offhand remark


Lee Shapiro

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I'm probably the first to admit that I'm sensitive about my songs, probably over-sensitive.  But I am working on a new song with an old high school friend (she has a great singing voice, but anyone does compared to mine, LOL).  Anyway, she also sang on a song I wrote about 4 or 5 years ago.   She told me she listened to the old song for the first time in a while and said, she thought it was "cute".

But it wasn't a cute or funny song, it was a song about a bad relationship.  It was a serious song.    So her calling it "cute" kind of rubbed me the wrong way.
That's not a word you often use to describe a serious song. Alvin and The Chipmunks songs are cute.
  Should I feel insulted?

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40 minutes ago, Wibbles said:

No. Maybe she heard the song in a different way than you intended. :)

Perhaps.  And as I said, I'm probably just being too sensitive.
But I don't think anyone ever described any of Dylan's songs as "cute".  (Not that I'm in ANY way comparing myself to Dylan....just saying.)
Puppies and kittens are cute.

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1 hour ago, Christian Jones said:

No dude. It's against the guy code for a guy to use that word on some other dude's song, but from a woman I'd take it as a compliment all day. Let it go. 

I guess that's true.  But it's like a woman looking at your impressive "manhood" and saying, "Oh that's so cute."  ??
But, I guess I'll let it go (after I ask her what she meant by calling my song "cute") ?

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6 hours ago, Michael Vogel ( MUDGEL) said:

She was just being nice to me using language she understood. I was far too sensitive. 

^^No better explanation.

Guys don't use that word, but for a woman.. that's their word and from them it's usually good. Don't go asking her about it either; she'll see you were put off by it and maybe she'll back track and say something "worse" like "No, it was really cute.." Ok, it may have also meant that she didn't care for it too much and was shining you on. This girl in my life, every time I play her a song I'm working on she goes overboard w/ how awesome it is.. way overboard, like she thinks that's what I expect. I know she's trying to please me but still I can't get a read as to how she really feels about it, so now I just get a kick out of watching how far she'll go to tell me how incredible it was. She's never used the word "cute" on me though so I'd say you're at least better off than I am if that's any consolation. 

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If your wife/girlfriend comes running into the room with her hair on fire, screaming, "What should I do?" Do NOT say put it out! You say things like, "Wow, you look really good as a red head," or "Poor baby, that must really hurt. I feel so bad for you," etc...

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22 hours ago, Lee Shapiro said:

  Should I feel insulted?

Lee....

No.....not at all.....bluntly put,

None of us should feel offended/insulted/discouraged by anyone else's negative comments or opinions about our song writing efforts.    Song writing is a very personal thing.  We can't expect everyone to like a song just because we spent 6 months on a tune thinking it's a masterpiece.   So.......if any of us are going to put our music out to the public or possible collaborators to hear we must have the skin of a snow tire and we should accept all comments whether positive or negative.  If someone thinks my songs suck....so be it.    

I know my place in the music world....my material will quite likely never appeal to the masses so I continue on as song writing/recording is just creative therapy for me.    I do it because I've done it for four decades and don't expect anyone to patronize me with how great my song is in fear of hurting my feelings.     

Just keep doing what you're doing without big expectations.   If my peers do give my material a listen and do comment favorably....that works for me.   What my non-musician/non-song writing friends/family say has little real meaning....it's what our peers say that has true merit to me and is frosting on our creative cake.

That's my take....carry on.

 

Edited by chulaivet1966
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She probably has improved or likes to think she has improved since singing on the old song so doesn't want to give it too much praise. She is probably listening more to her own voice and the lyrics rather than to your songwriting and commenting on that. If you are working on a new song with her, concentrate on that. Don't let muddled memories and polluted perceptions of the past spoil a new endeavor.

I agree with Christian, "cute" is usually a good word from women. No you shouldn't feel insulted. I think you are being over sensitive as you say you might be.

 

Edited by Tezza
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