I bought a Christmas Tree and some decorations today.
The chap who sold it me asked, "Are you going to put it up yourself?"
"No" I replied, "I thought in the living room might be more appropriate".
I asked Google, "Surely it's going to rain today?"
Google replied, "Yes it's going to rain a lot today ..... and don't call me Shirley"
I forgot I had my phone in airplane mode.