Cheers Mark. First, if that's ur cigarbox lap steel in the pic, you did a great job. It looks awesome. Second, I love the vibe of the song and the imagery. And as always, I love ur voice. You have a great Stephen Stills type voice with a cool, lazy delivery. I LOVE it!
Anyway, if it were me, in time Id def revisit this song and give it a couple of verses using a diff vocal melody(or perhaps just spoken word) and I'd prob put a diff chord progression in the verses to create a bit of musical variation, while being careful not to get too fancy and lose that laid back feel. I'd use those verses to try to tell a cool story(maybe of a journey down south and how a voodoo woman did me wrong) .
Yeah, right now it feels like it's all variations of the chorus. A couple of verses would help give the song more depth(musically & lyrically) and it'd make it feel more complete. Maybe some reading on Swamp folklore could get ur gears turning again.
Btw, I know a little something about the swamp. I live right in the middle of it. I'm in Cajun country in South Louisiana.
Hey, maybe we could swap houses for a while. Afterall, you want someone to take you TO the swamp and I want someone to take me OUT of the damn swamp. 🐊 👀
(😁)