Jump to content
Bapu

Bapu's Random Thoughts For The Day

Recommended Posts

Remember that Emergency Broadcasting System?

I wonder if we'll be hearing from it in the near future... 🤔

😏

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Gwyneth Paltrow's Fanny Candle Explodes

London, 18 Jan 2021

A fanny*-scented candle by Gwyneth Paltrow exploded into flames causing an “inferno” in a woman’s living room.

Jody Thompson, 50, won the risque product sold by the Hollywood star and wellness guru in an online quiz. The candle is described on Gwyneth’s Goop site as “funny, gorgeous, sexy and beautifully unexpected”.

But Jody was taken by ­surprise after lighting it when a 50cm flame leapt from the candle and out of the glass jar. The media consultant told The Sun: “The candle exploded and emitted huge flames, with bits flying everywhere. I’ve never seen anything like it. The whole thing was ablaze and it was too hot to touch. There was an inferno in the room.”

Jody who lives with partner David Snow in Kilburn, North London, said: “We eventually got it under control and threw it out the front door.  It could have burned the place down. It was scary at the time, but funny looking back that Gwyneth’s fanny candle exploded in my living room.”

 

* The British usage.

Edited by Wibbles
Grown-up anatomical words aren't allowed.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 minutes ago, Wibbles said:

Gwyneth Paltrow's Fanny Candle Explodes

London, 18 Jan 2021

A fanny*-scented candle by Gwyneth Paltrow exploded into flames causing an “inferno” in a woman’s living room.

Jody Thompson, 50, won the risque product sold by the Hollywood star and wellness guru in an online quiz. The candle is described on Gwyneth’s Goop site as “funny, gorgeous, sexy and beautifully unexpected”.

But Jody was taken by ­surprise after lighting it when a 50cm flame leapt from the candle and out of the glass jar. The media consultant told The Sun: “The candle exploded and emitted huge flames, with bits flying everywhere. I’ve never seen anything like it. The whole thing was ablaze and it was too hot to touch. There was an inferno in the room.”

Jody who lives with partner David Snow in Kilburn, North London, said: “We eventually got it under control and threw it out the front door.  It could have burned the place down. It was scary at the time, but funny looking back that Gwyneth’s fanny candle exploded in my living room.”

 

* The British usage.

Typical

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

From The Daily Mash

'Gwyneth fanny candle explosion' is a sentence that makes sense in 2021

 

THE sentence ‘Gwyneth fanny candle explosion’ is one that makes perfect sense to people in the dystopia of 2021. 

When confronted with the four-word sentence, a majority of Britons nodded sagely and said ‘yes, I expected something like this would happen’ without any need for further explanation.

Asked to elaborate, 68-year-old Susan Traherne said: “Gwyneth Paltrow the actress and lifestyle brand, I presume?

“Yes, I remember last year she produced candles that bore the odour of her *****. So I assume that one of said candles was lit, overheated, and produced an A-list-*****-scented conflagration of some kind?

“That’s exactly what happened? Ah. Then I’m in hell and we’re all in hell. Nowhere else would that make sense.”

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, Wibbles said:

Gwyneth Paltrow's Fanny Candle Explodes

London, 18 Jan 2021

A fanny*-scented candle by Gwyneth Paltrow exploded into flames causing an “inferno” in a woman’s living room.

Jody Thompson, 50, won the risque product sold by the Hollywood star and wellness guru in an online quiz. The candle is described on Gwyneth’s Goop site as “funny, gorgeous, sexy and beautifully unexpected”.

But Jody was taken by ­surprise after lighting it when a 50cm flame leapt from the candle and out of the glass jar. The media consultant told The Sun: “The candle exploded and emitted huge flames, with bits flying everywhere. I’ve never seen anything like it. The whole thing was ablaze and it was too hot to touch. There was an inferno in the room.”

Jody who lives with partner David Snow in Kilburn, North London, said: “We eventually got it under control and threw it out the front door.  It could have burned the place down. It was scary at the time, but funny looking back that Gwyneth’s fanny candle exploded in my living room.”

 

* The British usage.

Keyword that the buyer missed, highlighted above.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, Wibbles said:

A fanny*-scented candle by Gwyneth Paltrow...

 

* The British usage.

Is this the candle? 😜

afb119cdd2a6b133a7bb7b4b8aaffada.jpg

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Apparently Gwyneth's is a little spicier and not at all fishy. The candle is too.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 hours ago, Wibbles said:

Apparently Gwyneth's is a little spicier and not at all fishy. The candle is too.

or     That’s what she wants us to believe 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You can Tuna Fish but you can't Tuna Canyon.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 1/18/2021 at 7:36 PM, bayoubill said:

Am forced to cut my Becan into half servings and freeze for future use

the strings haven’t been changed since 2017

Thought, and maybe a stupid one: how about minced bacon?

Mixed with mashed potatoes & maybe wrapped in flatbread?

Hmmm....🤔

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
40 minutes ago, Per Westin said:

Thought, and maybe a stupid one: how about minced bacon? Mixed with mashed potatoes & maybe wrapped in flatbread? Hmmm....

and deep fried - always deep fried 🙂 

  • Like 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
40 minutes ago, Per Westin said:

Thought, and maybe a brilliant one: how about minced becan?

Mixed with mashed becan & maybe wrapped in becan?

Hmmm....🤔

 

Coffee Housed! 😁

  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 minutes ago, Glenn Stanton said:

and deep fried - always deep fried 🙂 

deep fried should be an official food group

Edited by Bapu
  • Great Idea 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey Bill, how about this? 😁

c8747515fc970cfbb026db10444a8af6.jpg

(BTW - That "hamburger" looks disgusting! 🤢)

Edited by craigb
  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now

×
×
  • Create New...