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You'd think that in a band of over-50s there'd be no infighting, bickering, power struggles and out-of-control egos. Turns out, maturity just seems to be especially elusive among musicians. 

Time to fire up Cakewalk again. Superior Drummer will never refuse to play a song it doesn't like, complain about not getting the respect it's entitled to, nor criticize Trillian for not playing in the pocket. Kontakt won't mind if its only duty is a tambourine part, won't insist that its talents are wasted unless it's the focus of the song. All of the vocalists (me, me and me) will know the frickin' words, know their frickin' place in the mix and know better than to demand more reverb. 

Of course, I'll still be rehearsing with my new band on Sunday...

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Posted (edited)

Hah! Good to know if I ever want to get in a band again. I read years ago that the average length of time that a band stays together in L.A. was 2 and a half weeks.

If you think about it, marriage is hard--to make it work. Now take 4 or 5 dudes and try to make that work! Not so much.

Edited by razor7music

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Plus add if the band is mixed male and female can have tension and not in the sexual way.   When I was in a church group the egos were too much for my wife and me to handle. One piece had this really good flute Descant part and the main vocalist stopped my wife and said you can't play that because it is throwing me off🙄.   The choir leader didn't want to argue with this lady and asked my wife on the side to sit this one out. Funny thing is my wife's friend from the old church and her played it all the time and no problem. There were several other ladies that said to my wife maybe the vocalist should learn her part and not pay attention to you but politics had the choir director bowing to this premadonna. We had our first child shortly after this encounter and were able to bow out of the choir.

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Welcome to the club man.

My neighbor of 60 years old is po-ed at me cause I came to jam one night with his power trio and didn't join the band on the spot. I cited I was too old and lazy to practice two times a week and gig too. I was happily amused with my own creations in my rumpus room. He said, Ron it's your time to shine! - I'm not sure what is in his Wheaties, but I'm 57 and look like it too. I'm not shining anymore. He says it's a pity, and still gives me the cold shoulder in the grocery store.

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When i was in the 20's my pals and i tried to start a band. It didn't work out.

The drummer was ok but secretly dreamed of being a singer.

The lead guitar couldn't refrain from doing crazy solos more than 10 minutes.

Me, to passive to make them follow my lead so we could accomplish something. Seems i was the only one that had own songs but i couldn't explain it to them.

They was happy doing covers and jamming.

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Kurre, Singing drummers are such a recording challenge! And so many want to sing. 😎

Bit, I'm so so sorry. Sucks to put your heart into a collective work and have others abandon it.

There's always s bright side, but hard to know where the sun might rise.

 

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Posted (edited)

That's sad, you may look back on the time with the band with fondness once the emotional commotion settles. I think both singer songwriter DAW recording and playing with others is good, it doesn't have to be one or the other. It's even better if you can use your DAW to record the whole band.

Given the chance, all males are egonauts even the quiet ones when their circumstances change and not just in bands either, I am in some political parties and groups...unbelievable!

Learning to deal with and point out egoistic behavior in a way that doesn't offend is hard to do but very rewarding if you can do it. I think the key is professionalism and sticking to the agenda of song creation, the songs come first. In bands I played in where there was a producer or manager pushing for achievement that was NOT a band member, they were the most stable and productive and fun.

Perhaps you just need to get a manager or producer for the band. That way, the manager can take care of band member complaints against other band members and act as an independent adjudicator or a referee in a cage fight!

When I record different vocals, guitars, keyboards and bass by myself, I try to take on the stereotypical ego's of each person and fight for the limelight in the tracks. You get an interesting perspective on others views that way. Only problem is, when I am the bass player, there's no other bandmates girlfriends to sleep with!

Edited by Tezza

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I've had loads of conversations with my dad about this, as we've both had similar experiences over the years with bands.

We came to the conclusion that before joining a band ask, "who's in charge?" - if the answer is, "we do it democratically" or "we all are", then run away! It's just so much easier if either one guy is in charge, or even the person who wrote the song is in charge for that song. Anything else is gonna mean loads of arguments, unless you're really, really lucky with personalities / tastes.

Having one person in charge doesn't stop others suggesting ideas, but having that one person have final say cuts out a lot of arguments.

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5 hours ago, msmcleod said:

Having one person in charge doesn't stop others suggesting ideas, but having that one person have final say cuts out a lot of arguments

True but if the person in charge is totally not flexible it can lead to disaster. I knew a really good singer wanting to add one piece in the set after being with this group for a long time. The leader was nope. The singer ended up leaving. He wanted the song in because he lost a friend from illness and wanted to sing it in memory of him. Felt sorry for the guy as he was a good person and the leader was on an ego trip. 

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On 7/26/2019 at 4:48 PM, bitflipper said:

Superior Drummer will never refuse to play a song it doesn't like, complain about not getting the respect it's entitled to, nor criticize Trillian for not playing in the pocket

That's coming in the next update.......

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6 hours ago, msmcleod said:

I've had loads of conversations with my dad about this, as we've both had similar experiences over the years with bands.

We came to the conclusion that before joining a band ask, "who's in charge?" - if the answer is, "we do it democratically" or "we all are", then run away! It's just so much easier if either one guy is in charge, or even the person who wrote the song is in charge for that song. Anything else is gonna mean loads of arguments, unless you're really, really lucky with personalities / tastes.

Having one person in charge doesn't stop others suggesting ideas, but having that one person have final say cuts out a lot of arguments.

In every previous band, I've served as bandleader. I provided the van, lights and PA, called rehearsals, picked material, created arrangements, made up set lists, made posters, interfaced with agents, signed the contracts, cashed the checks, sang lead on 60-70% of the songs. I never took any extra pay for those duties and made it clear that off-stage everyone had an equal say in everything. I enforced the band policies we'd all agreed upon: no alcohol on stage, no girlfriends at rehearsals, no Elvis impersonations.

I just don't have the energy or ambition to do all that stuff anymore. 

 

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@bitflipper No wonder you didn't have time to shave😀

26 minutes ago, bitflipper said:

I just don't have the energy or ambition to do all that stuff anymore

I can see why :)

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You also have to be mindful of subtle clues with bands. "Flaccid Flatulents" may sound like a cool alliteration, but is a poor choice for a band name.

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Finally Dave Banned hissownself.

 

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Posted (edited)
On 7/26/2019 at 5:48 PM, bitflipper said:

All of the vocalists (me, me and me) will know the frickin' words, know their frickin' place in the mix

Haha, the same happened to me working with vocalists the last 6 month,

plus I did   all the work (except  the Vocs) for the tracks  but all of the vocalists wanted 

to have this tracks under their name, crazy....😈

Hope to meet a vocalist who knows his place .

Seems to be  science fiction these days.

 

 

Edited by Pragi
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9 hours ago, bitflipper said:

I provided the van

Dave, I didn't know you played bass.

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😄

Ever notice how the guy who needs a van the most - the drummer - always squeezes his kit into a Toyota?

 

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