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Barry Seymour

Weapons of War

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Posted (edited)

EDIT: I've released the final version. Thanks, everyone, for the feedback.

Hey everyone. Here's a new one. It's more hard charging than a lot of my songs, so I might need some guidance on how to make it powerful without clipping / overdriving.

It's political, and it has a few salty words, so get your pearls ready for clutching. ūüėȬ†

Comments / suggestions welcome.

Edited by Barry Seymour
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Posted (edited)
5 hours ago, Barry Seymour said:

more hard charging than a lot of my songs, so I might need some guidance on how to make it powerful

If by that you want the song to "push" harder, you'll have to look at the rhythm guitar and/or the bass (I'm thinking mostly in the verse).
Something a bit more staccato, it will be "simpler", but if "push" is what you want...
If you're just looking to make it "louder", I guess look at some "saturation" plugins; maybe that would increase intensity.

As always, well written and executed Barry.

t

Edited by DeeringAmps
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Cool song Barry - the bass track really stood out to me in this one - what was played and how it sat in the mix.

Excellent guitar solos.

Regarding the lyrics - well done.

Overall a fine mix - sounded good through my headphones.

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When you say "war drums" i was expecting some war drum beat to come in a push instead of the same 4/4, just an idea, not a criticism. I think on some of the cymbals clashes i would try and hit the kick at same time has clash to give it more thud, maybe.  The breaks with the rhythm riff, i probably give it a bit more crunch saturation because its the weapons of war that need some destruction i think. On the lead solo at end all the backing instruments stay the same level and panning, i would swish or wave them about, maybe give some width (EQ) so lead comes down the middle to give more dynamics, again maybe bit more destruction sound on lead guitar and maybe its begging for tad of delay, which you could automate when you hang off those notes because that's a great led work and some great lyrics. So maybe worth bit more experimental on production. 

 

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5 hours ago, whoisp said:

When you say "war drums" i was expecting some war drum beat to come in a push instead of the same 4/4, just an idea, not a criticism. I think on some of the cymbals clashes i would try and hit the kick at same time has clash to give it more thud, maybe.  The breaks with the rhythm riff, i probably give it a bit more crunch saturation because its the weapons of war that need some destruction i think. On the lead solo at end all the backing instruments stay the same level and panning, i would swish or wave them about, maybe give some width (EQ) so lead comes down the middle to give more dynamics, again maybe bit more destruction sound on lead guitar and maybe its begging for tad of delay, which you could automate when you hang off those notes because that's a great led work and some great lyrics. So maybe worth bit more experimental on production. 

 

Good ideas. Perhaps at the end it's time to set a few more things on fire! LOL.

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1 hour ago, Barry Seymour said:

Good ideas. Perhaps at the end it's time to set a few more things on fire! LOL.

i get carried away sometimes with production so it could be me was expecting a few more things on fire ahah. You have some great triggers,  it stands out to me something like the lyric  "war drums" which welcomes in a fuller drum beat to kick in on that bit, which is clever production sometimes but works.  The great lead guitar at the ends when you hang off the notes, i would try automation with delay or maybe more reverb only on theose notes noit through all the lead guitar, sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't. 

 

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Its come a bit of a minefield hosting music for feedback, cakewalk forum, Bandlab, Facebook, YouTube, slaps and twitter etc.  

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Very well done Barry. I Really liked the way you carved out the space for the bass and drums. I thought it was Very well written and you sang it with conviction.   No crits or suggestions ..    mark

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Posted (edited)

Jeez, that's good. Love the vocals and guitar. Great lyric.

Love the entrance... bam! 

Lead-in to the solo kicks *****.

Maybe look for a way to change the energy between verse and chorus, so the listener feels the energy build. Maybe start to ramp it up in the chord change at 0:46 . You sound almost like Lou Reed when you're at lower volume: 1:12-1:13 is an example of that, or "guns" at 1:50. I might like to hear verses with you singing at lower volume.

I'm a drummer so there are also some things I can see to change it up. I'd add 4 bars of drums at the end of one of the choruses if you can find some big-***** drums like Taiko. Also layer them in with the cannons or thunderclaps or whatever they are (which are really great).

PS. Soundcloud played San Francisco Days right afterward. I'm in Pasadena now but lived in SFBA for decades and you got me all weepy ūüė쬆I've been all those places...

Then while I was writing that it served up A little Bit. Both of those are great, and I feel the same way about LA.

 

And yes, the lead-in to the solo does kick asterisks¬†ūüėě

Edited by Bruce Olsen
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2 hours ago, Bruce Olsen said:

Jeez, that's good. Love the vocals and guitar. Great lyric.

Love the entrance... bam! 

Lead-in to the solo kicks *****.

Maybe look for a way to change the energy between verse and chorus, so the listener feels the energy build. Maybe start to ramp it up in the chord change at 0:46 . You sound almost like Lou Reed when you're at lower volume: 1:12-1:13 is an example of that, or "guns" at 1:50. I might like to hear verses with you singing at lower volume.

I'm a drummer so there are also some things I can see to change it up. I'd add 4 bars of drums at the end of one of the choruses if you can find some big-***** drums like Taiko. Also layer them in with the cannons or thunderclaps or whatever they are (which are really great).

PS. Soundcloud played San Francisco Days right afterward. I'm in Pasadena now but lived in SFBA for decades and you got me all weepy ūüė쬆I've been all those places...

Then while I was writing that it served up A little Bit. Both of those are great, and I feel the same way about LA.

 

And yes, the lead-in to the solo does kick asterisks¬†ūüėě

Thanks for the kind words, on this and the other songs! Yes, I miss San Francisco. At least the San Francisco of the 70s, 80s and 90s. :'-(

I've added some more controversy to the ending... mastering it now. New mix soon.

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12 hours ago, whoisp said:

Its come a bit of a minefield hosting music for feedback, cakewalk forum, Bandlab, Facebook, YouTube, slaps and twitter etc.  

Too many choices. All I know is I'm close to maxing out my free Soundcloud account...

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Congrats, certainly one of the better songs I've heard on the forum (to my tasteūüė¨), nice composition, well timed, punch, space,¬†nice vocal, great solo...

I'm far from a mixing expert, still struggling to master it. Having said that, when listening to your song, my ears get tired quickly, I think has to do with a slight lack of warmth, and a bit too much mid?/high on average, especially on the cymbals. Maybe also a bit too much reverb (maybe slightly less turned in, a shorter tail and/or some EQ on the high reverb frequencies?).

Have to confess that while listening I noticed that hay fever is slightly blocking my earsūü•ī, so it probably will already sound better when that's over...¬†

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HI Barry

Like this a lot - well recorded and great guitars - lyrics spot on

Cool stuff

Nigel

 

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On 6/18/2022 at 12:40 AM, Barry Seymour said:

Too many choices. All I know is I'm close to maxing out my free Soundcloud account...

Thats why i bang quick videos together and put it all on YouTube and/or facebook and share. Soundcloud had its day, people more Spotify and itune if not on youtube for free music 

 

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3 minutes ago, whoisp said:

Thats why i bang quick videos together and put it all on YouTube and/or facebook and share. Soundcloud had its day, people more Spotify and itune if not on youtube for free music 

 

Completely agree - YouTube, iTunes  and Spotify are the main ones we use - nothing else seems to get any traction these days.

we have been really concentrating on YouTube lately and have managed to build up a following - hard work though!!

Nigel

 

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49 minutes ago, Bajan Blue said:

Completely agree - YouTube, iTunes  and Spotify are the main ones we use - nothing else seems to get any traction these days.

we have been really concentrating on YouTube lately and have managed to build up a following - hard work though!!

Nigel

 

Yes, i follow you on them all. 

So many people on this forum you think would do each other a favour and follow on Youtube etc which obviously to help ranking exposure. I think many are old school and don't understand how it works though to be fair. I don't push any of my platforms yet and i should have but been busy with everything else. Unfortunately lets face it, YouTube, Facebook and Spotify want money is the reality for adds. You can manually push with social media groups etc but like you say hard work. I think the best way is doing a live video everyday and talking bollox about something, people seem to like that haha

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ūüĎŹ

Barry I would edit the title to indicate this a new mix.

t

like,comment, subscribe, ring the ***** bell!

 

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1 hour ago, whoisp said:

Yes, i follow you on them all. 

So many people on this forum you think would do each other a favour and follow on Youtube etc which obviously to help ranking exposure. I think many are old school and don't understand how it works though to be fair. I don't push any of my platforms yet and i should have but been busy with everything else. Unfortunately lets face it, YouTube, Facebook and Spotify want money is the reality for adds. You can manually push with social media groups etc but like you say hard work. I think the best way is doing a live video everyday and talking bollox about something, people seem to like that haha

Ha ha - yes indeed - live video everyday and talking bollox about something, people seem to like that - could not agree more!!!!! 

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