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bjornpdx

Are We Through? Revised version

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Are We Through?   Revised version

 

Ancient history. The lyrics are close to what was said at that time but I may have  embellished a bit.

There might be some Melodyne artifacts in the vocal, but this is the best I could do.

Thanks for listening.

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I thought it was a touching song - from the heart.  I enjoyed your vocal - it sounded fine to me - I didn't hear the Melodyne artifacts.

Just a thought - try a vocal double on certain parts of the vocal track, just to mix it up a bit - add some variation.

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Douglas
Thanks.  Good suggestion about vocal doubling. I'm going to give that a try on my current project.

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Vocal doubling was a great suggestion, just make sure you record the double as a separate track and not just a copy and paste, the slight differences in phrasing and timing will thicken those parts you choose to emphasize :)

Bill

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Bjorn, this is a sad song just from the lyrics point of view, yet, the music is almost uplifting.  I think some of your phrasing is a bit awkward, but the message comes through clearly.  Your voice has an unique quality that you're beginning to tap into, and it gives me the impression of sincerity.  You have surprised me quite a bit over time, and I always look forward to your next song.

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Bill, thanks for listening and commenting.

Lynn, thanks again for your input. It's a sad song with a well worn ending, but when it happens to you it becomes way more than just a cliche. I agree about the phrasing which is something I deal with in my everyday speech. Bit of a problem for me.

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Nice track bjornpdx. I liked the cool guitars and vocals were good too. 

 

 

Quote

Ancient history. The lyrics are close to what was said at that time but I may have  embellished a bit.

There might be some Melodyne artifacts in the vocal, but this is the best I could do.

Thanks for listening.

 

Edited by ramscapri

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Listened to this a few times and I'm in agreement with Lynn, in that the phrasing is awkward in places and distracts the listener from, what I believe, are very powerful lyrics so maybe try not to loose the meter by reducing the lyric if it's a problem in everyday life.

All in this is one of your best songs. For me I think the vocal needs some help in places as you have a soft breathy kind of voice .. I think what gets me is the music box sound of guitar against your vocal, I really like this one mate as it's my kind of genre 😏  ... so,.. still needs a little work though, ( IMO ) but an excellent bit of songwriting ... warts and all 👌😉

Best Regards

Steve

Edited by SPAK

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ramscapri, kakku and Paul
Thanks for taking the time to comment

Steve,
I cringed when I listened to my voice on this song, but I sent it out anyway because it just wasn't getting any better.  Probably should have tried a lower key to lose the whispers, but wouldn't have worked anyway. I can phrase words pretty well in text but in spoken words not so much and that becomes obvious in a recording. Anyway, I appreciate the comments about the quality of the song which means a lot to me.

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