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Starise

A Man I Cannot Be

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This is a pop song about a man who can't show his true feelings for a woman he likes. 

A Man I Cannot Be

words-

I acted the fool, really wasn't me
I really love you, didn't want you to see
I pretended to be a man who wasn't me.

I pretended to be difficult
I needed to believe I didn't love you
I need you to see a man that isn't me.

I pretended I don't care, you are unaware
My lying eyes can't hide what I feel inside.
A man you cannot see

Can't hide those lying eyes x4

I pretended I don't care, you are unaware
My lying eyes can't hide what I feel inside.
A man I cannot be.

Can't hide those lying eyes x 4

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I found the Hi hat a little to forward when the vocal started Tim, perhaps a little to much reverb on that vocal too.  Some nice playing in there look forward to the remix?

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Thanks Wookie. I plan to go over it again. My voice isn't that good on this. The reverb is covering some of that up.  I'm sick of it right now. Hopefully I'll mix it some more when I can stand to listen to it again lol. I've heard it like 500 times. I tried just about every trick I know on the vox and I just couldn't get it to pop the way I wanted.

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Not feeling this one Tim, sorry. It's either a bit lacking in melody, or the chords aren't right to support it, not sure. 

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Understood. I didn't like it either. I made a bunch of changes to it.

I made some major changes to it. In hindsight I released it much too early. I thought I was finished but wasn't. Nowhere near.

Edited by Starise

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Tim, whether or not you think this is finished, it's vastly different from what I've heard from you.  Don't give up on this because the lyrics are quite good.  I've had songs that just didn't make sense until one day when I had that epiphany that changed everything.  If it doesn't come right away, move on to the next song.   Have a prosperous and creative new year!

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It's creative and melodic with some nice ideas. I think the arrangement just needs to catch up to the lyrics. The mix sounds pretty good on my tinny little phone speaker too!

Edited by Kevin Walsh

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@Lynn WilsonThanks for those words . I wrote this song for a competition. I'm not sure how it will place.  I have a lot of respect for anyone mixing pop/rock. Seems to take more effort for me than simple acoustic tunes. I made some further changes to the vox. It isn't a chart topper but yeah, I'll keep it around and thanks again.

@Kevin Walsh I hear you on this. I made some timing adjustments to the vox in relation to the music. Thanks!

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Hi Tim - different from your usual stuff. 

I actually quite like your voice and the mix sounds like you are trying to hide it - maybe a dryer vocal brought forward in the mix may help sell the song better.

 

 

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I thought it sounded good Tim! I've only heard Celtic folk type stuff from you before, so this is definitely a change! It's a good change though. I like the beat. It's got some nice deep lows without being muddy. I thought your voice sounded soulful, and I like the little Rhodes piano solos in there. Lots of stereo interplay going on. Very nice mix as well. Good job!

Edited by Leadfoot
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