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Posted (edited)

Hey guys,

Hope you're all doing well :)

Got a new track I've been working on that I'd really appreciate feedback on if you got a few minutes to spare. 

EDIT:

Song all done now and fully mastered!
 

Intro

Hey bae                     
This is all for you
I got something to say             
And it goes something like this

Verse 1

I've been trying, to paint a perfect world
But as I try I only get a purple blur                
I say the dumbest things, when feeling blue
I'm using too much red when I'm coloring

I don't know why cuz there's no need to draw no picture
I got you here and that is all that I could wish for               
I don't show it enough, you ain't feeling my art             
Well here's a key to my heart, now I'm opening up

Intro to chorus

For all the times that you've doubted me (baby)
If it's really that hard to see                              
Well if it is turn the sound up hear me out now
If it is turn the sound up hear me out now (baby)
As I'm I singing this loud and free

Chorus

I love you
I love you
I love you baby, yay, yay, ooh

I love you (Yeah, believe it boo)
I love you (And everything you do)
I love you baby, yay, yay, ooh

Verse 2

Tryna get this on your mind with such a catchy tune
But if a song isn't enough then I'm rap it too
I love you, everything that I'm attracted to
You kinda gotta it you're the whole entire package boo

The sweetest rack of boobs, your body's fit, that head of yours             
Well, it's fantastic too, much more than it gets credit for
Your brain's amazing, you're so clever if I never swore               
I wouldn't rate then I would say you couldn't get a better score         

I wish I said it more

Intro to chorus

For all the times that you've doubted me (baby)
If it's really that hard to see                              
Well if it is turn the sound up hear me out now
If it is turn the sound up hear me out now (baby)
As I'm I singing this loud and free

Chorus

I love you
I love you
I love you baby, yay, yay, ooh

I love you (Yeah, believe it boo)
I love you (And everything you do)
I love you baby, yay, yay, ooh

Break

Hey yeeeeeeah, ahaaaa

I love you baby, you're amazing
I had a taste and now I'm craving
Aahaaa, ah yeah
You make me crazy, I want you daily
There is no maybe, you're my lady

Verse 3 

At times you're asking me why, we're on a path you and I 
You have me scratching my mind, I'm attached to your life              
Cuz you're supportive and kind, and that's a draft to describe        
Your caring nature, babe your major compassionate side                     

Plus you're adventurous of course, and your fashion is fine                        
I love that courage of yours, it's really matching your drive          
You never lie, we’re playing games, but just on laptops online
I feel alive you're making me smile when we are passing the time                              

I love your laughter, kicking back, relaxing, chatter even if I'm acting
I don't but I do in fact and every dish you do is smashing   
Yeah, your food's fantastic, you got a juicy ***** well                  
It's not just the booty you're a beauty, yeah you're truly dazzling          

No make-up needed to be catching my eye                                  
I'll eat you up bae, but hey, I gotta ration my rhymes                    
I hate to say it but the beat is fast it's flashing me by               
Sixteen bars spit and this was just a fraction of why                

I'm the happiest guy               

Intro to chorus

For all the times that you've doubted me (baby)
If it's really that hard to see                              
Well if it is turn the sound up hear me out now
If it is turn the sound up hear me out now (baby)
As I'm I singing this loud
As I'm I singing this loud
As I'm I singing this loud and free

Chorus

I love you
I love you
I love you baby, yay, yay, ooh

I love you (Yeah, believe it boo)
I love you (And everything you do)
I love you baby, yay, yay, ooh

Outro

And it feels good

Yeah
I love you baby
Now and forever
Never doubt it

Cuz it feels good

Edited by Critical Chameleon
  • Like 1

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I really liked the groove of this and you did a great job on the vocals. Don't listen to rap but I think you did a cross genre on this one , enjoyed it , Good job.    mark     ps..   "wash away" needs posting.

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This held my interest all the way through, and I'm impressed at the punchiness of the track which would make me want to dance.  The production is very professional, so congrats!  Encore

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Thanks a lot guys! Means a ton to hear. 

We've (me and the guy doing the production) have actually been doing some changes which have lifted the song even further. But I think I'll wait posting until the master :)

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This took me by surprise. Just did not expect to here a Rap song, that sounded so spacious, lots of atmosphere. And a great beat too. Good vocal performance.

 

8 hours ago, mark skinner said:

ps..   "wash away" needs posting.

Totally agree. This song is a winner here. I'd buy this.

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On 7/9/2020 at 3:35 PM, Grem said:

did not expect to here hear a Rap song, that sounded so spacious, lots of atmosphere

Really good mix.

Not my genre but

On 7/9/2020 at 12:08 PM, Lynn said:

held my interest all the way

👍

tom

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You'll probably get a lot of "not what I usually listen to" around here, me included, but have to say that I liked it.
Very infectious energy and toe-tapping beat. Cool lyrics too (never heard "boobs" in a love song before ☺️).
Nice job.

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Really happy to hear all of this guys! Big thanks :) It's great to hear when your hard work pays off.

I have the song fully mastered now. There are some improvements from before (mainly break and outro).

 

 

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