craigb 6,867 Posted January 29 So, are you guys implying that marriage isn't a word, it's a sentence? 🤔 2 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Notes_Norton 3,477 Posted January 30 They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian; well, they're not laughing now. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
craigb 6,867 Posted January 30 3 hours ago, Notes_Norton said: They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian; well, they're not laughing now. Reminds me of this quote which George used to start a video with: Quote Hello, my name is George Carlin, and I am a professional comedian. As opposed to the kind you see at work all day long. 😆 1 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Notes_Norton 3,477 Posted January 31 I worked on cruise ships for 3 years. Being a comedian is a difficult job. When I play music, the song is complete even if the audience doesn't applaud. But if the joke doesn't get a laugh, it just hangs there. I've seen comedians do the same act week after week putting the audience in tears, and every now and then, a cruise ship full of passengers just sits there silent. We've had weeks when the audiences were difficult too, but at least the music was complete. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Notes_Norton 3,477 Posted February 2 How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only two. The hard part is getting them into the lightbulb. 1 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Notes_Norton 3,477 Posted February 4 I just found out that I’m color-blind. The news came completely out of the green! 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Notes_Norton 3,477 Posted February 5 I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Grem 4,068 Posted February 5 On 2/2/2023 at 9:03 AM, Notes_Norton said: How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only two. The hard part is getting them into the lightbulb. This one took me minute... or two. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rfssongs 201 Posted February 6 I was reading on the internet that acute liver failure can occur in as little as 48 hrs. The ugly ones take a little longer. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kperry 1,348 Posted February 6 On the fly front... Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. Time flies. You cannot. They fly too quickly. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Notes_Norton 3,477 Posted February 7 Apple is designing a new automatic car. But they’re having trouble installing the Windows! 1 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Notes_Norton 3,477 Posted February 8 I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pwalpwal 3,959 Posted February 8 i went to a seafood restaurant and asked for a lobster tail the waitress replied "once upon a time there was this lobster..." 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rfssongs 201 Posted February 9 On 2/6/2023 at 9:40 AM, rfssongs said: I was reading on the internet that acute liver failure can occur in as little as 48 hrs. The ugly ones take a little longer. And kind of on that theme: My Doctor said I had acute diarrhea but I disagreed. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Notes_Norton 3,477 Posted February 9 PMS jokes aren't funny. Period. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Notes_Norton 3,477 Posted February 10 There's a fine line between hyphenated words. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
craigb 6,867 Posted February 10 1 hour ago, Notes_Norton said: There's a fine line between hyphenated words. 1 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Notes_Norton 3,477 Posted February 11 England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Notes_Norton 3,477 Posted February 13 Exaggerations went up by a million percent last year. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
