Ruralrocker2010

@Lynn Wilson I want to give this a couple listens through my other speakers. I was using my smaller 5in monitors. Can you email me the wav file and I can look inside my daw?

The first minute or so the piano and bass were very thick in the mid-range which took away from the clarity of the vocal which was delivered well. The overtones then hung on which distracted me and made me draw my attention to the drums - which made me feel like there's either a mix (volumes) issue or an overcompression. I felt like the drums weren't as sonically good as the other instruments and I didn't understand why. So, that's really what gave me the overcompression idea. The guitar work is stellar. So many nuance riffs and stabs that were very cool to listen to. The bassline is also very well delivered. If you wanted to try an alternate mix, I'd pull the bass back about 3-6 db to bring it within a db or 2 of the kick. Then, that piano or organ, I would, pull it back just a touch & eq out 400-800 to take out some of the boxy-fatness and then bump the vocal up a bit. Leave the guitars as is. But - that's all just preference stuff. Lynn your stuff is always good work. The instruments sound really good and everythin g is so well done.

Great bassline. I like the harmonies. The visuals are stunning...hard not to think about how much we've lived through in the last 40 years. Thank you for sharing!

Thank you for sharing.

26 seconds in. Yes, that note. More of that!

I'm sure every note has significance and you shared your pain, loss & gain with us. You had her to love and to give this song back to you and to us. Thank you for sharing. Your loss is saddening and sobering. The song does the job for which it was intended. I appreciate the share. As you listen in the future and are reminded, I hope it can be more than sadness.

Your harmonies are GREAT. Is that just you singing? At first, I thought the bassline, or low end was male "mmmms"...and I thought dang, that's super cool. Inspiring work. My only crit is that your opening melody cadence is a bit jarring with the placement of the syllables of 'forever'. The "ver" lands on an off beat in a way that makes me think it's out of time and then the rest of the line finishes without me feeling comfortable. It feels rushed, but the melody is great and the lyrics interesting. It's a small thing - but it stood out to me.

The building energy element of this track is stellar. It begins open and spacious and then builds in an exciting way. I found myself pleasantly surprised as to where the track went. In the opening verse, you go A, B, A, B in terms of melody. I found myself wanting an A, A B, A, B or like a A A A B... but what you did leading to your first chorus was a good lift for the emotional tone. By the time you get to the 2nd verse it makes sense, but probably because you've heard it before. Either way, not bad, just that your first melody line stood way out and I felt that the resolve took away from how interesting that first line one. Lots of great hooks in this song. Listened twice! Great melody, great energy, great mix. Very enjoyable.

Hi Freddy, Has a 60's feel at times with your horn stabs sounding a bit like Roy Orbison to me, some of the drum fills give me that vibe too. I agree with your genre, it has every bit of crooner, alt prog, rock, blues and some soul lines in there with the horns. Personally, I found the timing to be a little distracting and some of the horns stabs weren't in tune or not in a mode I recognized for what I was expecting, but that's not really a crit as much an observation. I found the through line of the song to be enjoyable and inspiring. I appreciate the reflection of the world creating art. That's truly inspiring.

I'm gonna count that as a first for me personally; @steve@baselines.com said he felt like I was there - I had that same sensation. The music fit perfectly. I kept going back and forth between thinking how neat and otherworldly the place seemed while at the same time cold and bleak, yet, to your point, tranquil. The history of that place must have very interesting stories to tell. Thanks for sharing this.

So, obviously you love Kansas, right? Great tune!

It's just I feel like you're talking about me right now.

Dope guitar tone. I love the feel of the instrumentation. Obviously you're re-living the moment and that can most obviously be felt in the drums but yea the classic rock feel to this is also inviting. What a crazy story.

Mix sounds great. Song didn't really catch my attention, but all the parts sound quite professional.

Sounds like a song that comes from a very real and heartfelt place. Art is just the conversation we have with ourselves until we meet someone who's been there before too; thanks for sharing yours. Keep it up brother.

I'm curious how you come up with this stuff!

Lots of nice soundscapes here man! You've clearly got an ear for what you like. I found this to be pretty internally consistent with the type of feel you're going for. It does get a little busy at moments. I'd love to see you pare back, but I like it.

Wow, she's got a great instrument. I've found that when I get a vocal that sounds like that it's because I've overcompressed it and then tried to EQ clarity back into it. Yeah man...beautiful! I bet there were no dry eyes.

And i like the chorus, a lot.

You like Roy Orbison...my bet!

I think I'm listening to the updated one, but maybe not. I guess what I hear is that there's a lot going on and my ear is not able to focus on what the main idea is. You have a chimey guitar that takes the lead and just as soon as I think I understand what it's doing (as a listener) and I'm engaging with it, fuzzy smear happens. And not in a complimentary way - just kind of there and the longer it went on the more I kept wondering, where is this going... and I ended up being distracted from what seemed like a promising open. IDK, TIFWIW, I'd just strip back to the barest bones and then add one thing back in at a time until the confusion happens and then you'll hear what's not contributing - at least I've had some success with doing that. For me personally, and I know music is so personal, I've had to get ruthless about what the part is doing, specifically for the song. What I found for me is that I added parts because I was "covering" for something else. e.g., sound not big enough...etc. Keep working - you've got great parts, but be ruthless in your revisions!

what is a hemiola? nm, a quick google search revealed the answer. Well actually, then I take it back, if it was intentional but didn't work then it's more likely that I didn't understand what was going on. I'd disregard that timing comment altogether!

One thing I forgot about this forum was how inspiring other peoples work can be. The first note of this piece inspired me to want to jump on to my machine! Now that I've finished it I have to say it's a GREAT piece. Thank you for sharing.

I agree with @Paul Bush a nice ethnic motif would be kind of cool! I'm not a fan of the banjo shift. That was too sudden for my taste and jarring. But, I really like the guitar tone and the simplicity of the piece. Personally the timing was too imperfect for me, I found that distracting but that's just my preference.

OK! Thank you all. I love the suggestions. It's EZ drummer and I can easily experiment with the snare sound. I must admit @Bapu it stood out to me too but I wasn't sure why, so I'll take your suggestion and @emeraldsoul's as well. @Lynn Wilson I agree on the bass and already bumped it a few db. I'm very slow these days. I'm working at music a bunch but I completely accepted that I try to move way too fast and as a result I'm being much more deliberate about production. I have a ton of ideas, but since I have no partner or band to work with I'm just taking it very slow...as you can see - it took a while for me even to respond to this. Life is busy! I have 4 kids and 2 about to graduate college and highschool. Crazy times! Thank you all for the suggestions. I'm gonna sit on it a few more days. I think the high-end smear bugs me as was pointed out and now that I think about the drums, and others heard the same as me I believe I need to figure out a way to tame them. It might be by pulling back the snare, or just changing up some of the builds. I agree, it's a lot for such simple song. The drummer is clearly overly excited for how much is actually going on. Maybe I'll play them myself just to see what feels natural. Again, thank you all.