Movin On - Work in progress.

[garybrun]

This is one of our other songs we are working on.
Recorded live from band practise.
No fancy mixing etc but your thoughts on the song itself and its structure would be appreciated.
Im lead vocals and Håkon is backing.

 

Thanks again.

Gary

Note.  this is not a mix... it is ideas for a new song that we have written.

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Going 100 miles an hour - Time is passing by

The pedal is on the metal - Watching white lines fly

Looking in the mirrors - And what do I see

Sun shines on the river and it’s blinding me

 

I’m moving on.

Yeh yeh yeh.

I’m moving on.

The past is behind me - Lord....

I’m moving on

 

Fast roads in the open - Somethings up ahead

Everything’s in motion - Back on track again

Wipers got a rhythm – Like-the-one on the radio

Skies are dark and crying leavin’ tears on my window

I’m moving on…..

 

 

White lines are flying x 4

White lines are flying/Movin’ and groovin’ x 4

I’m moving on…..

 

Suspension taking a beating, Shocks going up and down.

Speeding on a country road heading out of town

I’m on the move, travelling fast, got somewhere that I gotta be

Movin’ and groovin’ is such a blast, I’m right where I want to be

I’m moving on

 

In the middle of a showdown - It’s easy to get screwed, but

The other side of the rainbow - Dreams are coming trough

Driving through the desert - Flying over hills

Life could not be better - This journey is a thrill

 

I’m moving on

Edited March 3, 2019 by garybrun
update

[SPAK]

Seems a little swamped ... reverb/bass ? not sure but this concept is great to listen too. One thing to remember is it's Ok when live to hear the breathing between chorus lines but never on a recording because after 2 or 3 listens to the song it no longer sound like a ' live ' performance which, to me it sounds as though you've tried to achieve.

Love the raw vocal and it works well but it's all a little too loose ... if you get my point

Steve   

[garybrun]

thanks for the comments and taking time to listen.

this is not a mix in anyway shape or form.

it is a recording from the practise...  putting the song together.

i just wanted opinions on the song and it’s structure...

Edited March 3, 2019 by garybrun

[Jim Fogle]

I like the song and think the idea behind the song is good. 

I would eliminate the vocals at

White lines are flying x 4

White lines are flying/Movin’ and groovin’ x 4

I’m moving on…

and perform instrumental solos instead.  The bass is so smokin' throughout the song I would have the bass instrumental and electric guitar first half and the keyboard and drums second half.

Essentially copy the formula used in the instrumental break of Atlanta Rhythm Section's song, "Champagne Jam".  Listen here: 

You could also consider having two instrumental interludes with the first at the place I mentioned before and the second at the end of the song.  If you do two music interludes and have bass/guitar for the first interlude and keyboard/drums/guitar for the second interlude at the end of the song you can fade out on the second guitar part.  That worked real good for Supertramp on "Goodbye Stranger"  Listen how the guitar is going wild at the fadeout.  It like the group could play forever.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9aykOwwRf-Q

 

[Bob Oister]

Hi, Gary,

This is a really cool vintage blues rocker, well written and played, cool lyrics, and nice vocal work!?

I really like where this is headed and I love the keyboard parts.  As Fogle622 mentioned above, I'd add a bluesy guitar solo and an organ solo to break things up a bit.

Nice work, Gary, can't wait to hear the finished product!?

Best wishes!
Bob

[garybrun]

Thanks a lot guys.

Some great input there...  I’ll discuss it with other members.

[Wookiee]

To me this sounded like a live Pub rock gig Gary which is not necessarily a bad thing.