bjornpdx Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 I'm Retired https://soundcloud.com/orygun/im-retired It's winter so I stay inside and write stupid songs. I can never get the de-esser at the right setting. A lot of strong ssss get through and if I crank up the de-esser then it sounds like I'm lisping. Thanks for listening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sean Michael Robinson Posted February 9, 2019 Share Posted February 9, 2019 This is hilarious Bjorn! Really enjoyed the lyrics and perspective. It see ms OVEr de-essd to me. Don't fear the ESS so much you eliminate the high end from your consonants. If you're capturing too much sibiliance at the source, then try-- 1. a different mic 2. backing up from the capsule (could be causing over-emphasis of the sibilance) 3. eating a green apple/drinking some water before your singing some session! 4. all of the above 5. tell yourself, "Aaah, I'm retired!" I'd watch the phrasing. Especially with a spoken (as opposed to sung) delivery and such conversational lyrics, I'd pay careful attention to phrasing the words how they would appear in conversation. There are a few examples here, but the one at hand is -- "I STAY at home, I OBserve the scene" which, when spoken, would be "I obSERve the scene." Phrasing it how you'd speak it preserves the meaning even on casual listening. (The worst financially successful example of this IMHO is the Fleetwood Mac song "Go Your Own Way" the chorus of which has a second line where I can barely believe they're singing the words written down on the lyrics sheet. Makes for some odd listening, to me anyway!) A fun song. Do you ever play these ditties in public by any chance? I think this one would go over great. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kloon Posted February 9, 2019 Share Posted February 9, 2019 Hehe, love it! Nice arpeggio driven flow. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bjornpdx Posted February 9, 2019 Author Share Posted February 9, 2019 Sean Thanks for the comments and suggestions. Kind of funny that you cited that one phrase since I did it that way deliberately because it just seemed to fit the beat better. Another one of those things that you do over and over until that's the way you think it should be, but then it doesn't sound right to another listener. I never really noticed that example from Fleetwood Mac but I see what you're saying. One of the local radio stations keeps playing Don't Stop Believin' by Journey. "A singer in a smokaaaaay room" drives me crazy. Kloon Thanks for listening and commenting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wookiee Posted February 9, 2019 Share Posted February 9, 2019 Hilarious Bjorn loved it. ? ? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ciodontrax Posted February 10, 2019 Share Posted February 10, 2019 Hey Bjorn really cool song, I think the cymbals at the beginning are too loud and the guitar could be a little louder for my taste 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lynn Wilson Posted February 10, 2019 Share Posted February 10, 2019 Bjorn, you're proving yourself to be a master satirist. I kinda agree with Sean about the phrasing because, as you may know, I prefer a prose style of phrasing, but that's a minor point. I love retirement, too, though I never have to look for something to do. Gotta go now; I'm working with my friend, Arvin. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhonoBrainer Posted February 10, 2019 Share Posted February 10, 2019 You retired bastards. Great tune, maybe just dip the moist pointy cymbal hits just a bit. thanks for the fun, Bjorn! I can only give you an appropriate estimation of your song once I retire . . . see you in six years. Maybe ten. the phone taking pics of your right ear - that's a good one. cheers, Tom 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bjornpdx Posted February 12, 2019 Author Share Posted February 12, 2019 Wookie As always, thank you for taking the time to comment. Harry Yeah, I agree that cymbal needs toning down. I'll take a listen to that and the guitar. Thanks Lynn I have occasional trouble with phrasing (and enunciation) in my regular speech too probably because I only spoke Swedish until we immigrated to the US when I was six. English is sometimes tricky even after all these years. ? Tom Thank you. Well, hope to see you in retirement world sooner than later! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteenE Posted February 12, 2019 Share Posted February 12, 2019 On 2/10/2019 at 1:37 PM, Harry C. said: Hey Bjorn really cool song, I think the cymbals at the beginning are too loud and the guitar could be a little louder for my taste I agree. Personally I would try a slightly wetter vocals, but not much. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vilovilo Posted February 12, 2019 Share Posted February 12, 2019 Hi Bjorn, Good fun listening to this tune ... not english native so thanks for typing the words ... Cheers. Olivier 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freddy j Posted February 15, 2019 Share Posted February 15, 2019 Ha -- I love this number and I couldn't identify with the lyrics more! I have been retired for about 10 years and still one of my favourite things is to sit in my chair in the morning with my cup of coffee and read the entire newspaper at my leisure (at least on most days). You used the perfect arrangement to convey the lyrics. Great stuff my friend! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Douglas Kirby Posted February 18, 2019 Share Posted February 18, 2019 This started out with a Beverly Hill Cops vibe due to that synth you used, and then it turned into a country song about retirement. I enjoyed the lyrics - funny - nicely done. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thegaltieribrothers Posted February 19, 2019 Share Posted February 19, 2019 Hi Bjorn, Great song + excellent lyrics. If Johnny Cash was still around this would be great for him to do. Thanks for sharing. regards paul 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bjornpdx Posted February 20, 2019 Author Share Posted February 20, 2019 Thanks everyone. I appreciate you listening and commenting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garybrun Posted February 20, 2019 Share Posted February 20, 2019 I liked it Bjørn. Loved the old lay back feel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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