Which reminds me of when my Grandma was in court.
She was a small town southern lady and when during a trial, the prosecuting attorney called her to the stand and he asked her "do you know me?"
She said " I've know you since you were a boy and I must tell you that you've been such a disappointment to me!"
"You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs!"
" YOU think you're a big shot but too dumb to realize you're never amount to anything more than a two bit paper pusher"
"I knew you well" Grandma said!
The lawyer and the court room were stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed his finger at the defense attorney and asked
"Do you know the defense attorney?" My Grandma answered " Why yes, ever since he was a young boy too. Very well I know him!
He's lazy, bigoted, and has a drinking problem! His law practice is one of the worst in the state . He is incapable of having a normal relationship with anyone and cheated on his wife with three separate women one of which was YOUR WIFE! Yes I know him. "
The Prosecuting Attorney was very shaken along with the entire courtroom over the statements Grandma made
The Judge watching the events in his courtroom asked both defense and prosecuting attorneys to approach the bench.
He very quietly whispered to them both " If either of you idiots asked her if she knows me I WILL CHARGE YOU WITH CONTEMPT OF COURT AND SEND YOU BOTH TO JAIL!"
It just goes to show me life is like looking for my phone, most of the time it's in my hand