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Will

John Walks Into a Bar. . .

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Are dumb blonde jokes still allowed? If not, just insert your least favorite politician or celebrity, but don't tell us who it is or you'll get whacked. By the way, she's a bleached blonde. Everybody knows real blondes are the smartest people on the planet. ;)

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Jack, a handsome man, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down at the bar next to a young lady with thick blonde hair and stared up at the TV as the 10 o'clock news came on. The news crew was covering a story about a man on a ledge of a large building, preparing to jump. The blonde looked at Jack and said, "Do you think he'll jump?" Jack said, "You know what, I bet he will." She replied, "Well, I bet he won't." Jack placed $30 on the bar and said, "You're on!” Just as she placed her money on the bar, the guy on TV did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. She was very upset and handed her $30 to Jack, saying, "Fair's fair... Here's your money." Jack said , "I can't take your money. I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump." The blonde replied, "I did too; but I never thought he'd do it again."

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A blonde walks down the street, sees a banana peel lying on the ground before her, and says “That’s gonna hurt”. 

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Still lying down, she gets a call on her mobile and answers: “Mom, how did you know I was here?”

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Hey Will,

Do You happen to Know of a guy called Jordan Peterson?

If Not.....................Google Him..............................You will be inspired!

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4 hours ago, Frank Harvey said:

Hey Will,

Do You happen to Know of a guy called Jordan Peterson?

If Not.....................Google Him..............................You will be inspired!

 

Jordan Peterson is repulsive.

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A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game?

The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa.

Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and, if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00."

This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer.

Okay says the lawyer, your turn. She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail.

After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00. The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep.

The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer? "Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.

 

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2 hours ago, Wibbles said:

 

Jordan Peterson is repulsive.

Youtube seems to be on a mission to make me watch him. You can tell a video suggestion  you're not interested for a number of reasons, but for 'anything with Jordan Peterson  in the title'. deleting watch history doesn't stop youtube spewing suggestions at me.

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10 minutes ago, Kamikaze said:

Youtube seems to be on a mission to make me watch him. You can tell a video suggestion  you're not interested for a number of reasons, but for 'anything with Jordan Peterson  in the title'. deleting watch history doesn't stop youtube spewing suggestions at me.

The horror! 

I get the same thing with Jacob Rees-Mogg. Apparently I want to watch clips of him "destroying liberals" - he doesn't and I don't.

 

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'Destroying' seems to be the current youtube click bait title, unless its a science/engineering channel.

Part of the problem is watching something that shows fault in someones position, is that it  then causes anything with that person name being suggested, which is often then 'pro' that person.

 

Edited by Kamikaze
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8 hours ago, Frank Harvey said:

Hey Will,

Do You happen to Know of a guy called Jordan Peterson?

If Not.....................Google Him..............................You will be inspired!

Found this on Wiki: "In 2016 Peterson released a series of YouTube videos criticizing political correctness and the Canadian government's Bill C-16. The act added gender identity as a prohibited ground of discrimination, which Peterson characterized as an introduction of compelled speech into law."

Color me inspired!

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Please quit following me around trashing my threads with your pro homosexual agenda Mr. Wibbles. You did enough of it at the old place. Not one person appreciates it.

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I don't agree with everything Peterson says, but a lot of it makes sense to me. He's occasionally a voice of reason in ridiculous times.

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1 hour ago, Will said:

Please quit following me around trashing my threads with your pro homosexual agenda Mr. Wibbles. You did enough of it at the old place. Not one person appreciates it.

Will and Wibbles,

I don't know the history between the two of you, but let's avoid any personal attacks and keep the forums positive. If we want the coffee house to remain open, please stick to the guidelines: "Discussion of off-topic music related subjects. No politics. No religion. All love. Enjoy!"

Thanks for everyone's cooperation. This topic is now locked. PM me if you want to discuss in private.

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