Chaos Ravine 2.0- drums by Markno999

[Lynn Wilson]

Here's the first song I wrote this year, and I'm wondering if it's ready to go into the oven yet.  I had a lot of fun experimenting with O-Vox, using my voice to drive synthesizers, especially now that my rig is fast enough to monitor in real-time.  Much gratitude to all for your time and thoughts.  

3-19-23:  Thanks to a huge contribution from Markno999, I've created "Chaos Ravine 2.0": https://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=14563308

Since we both have SD3, he was able to create a MIDI drum file for the song, using a different kit and grooves.  The only original drum tracks that I kept were the pre-choruses.  I cleaned up a few other minor things and lowered the vocals a tad, per Daryl1968.  So many thanks to all who have contributed!

 

Here are the lyrics, as requested:

Sapphire eyes on silicon clowns

Live forever with their ups and downs

   When they get home and turn on the lights

   They feel safer, but they’re hungry all night

            They say it’s better to be seen than heard

            That’s only for kids

            It only matters when they hear the word

            That keeps flipping their lids

 

CHORUS

Chaos ravine is calling

It’s holding them in a spell

Chaos ravine forever

There’s nothing to show or tell

 

Laser beams come down from the sky

Harmony is hard to come by

They’re pointing their fingers at everyone else

The odor still lingers until they see themselves

   They leave a shadow everywhere they go, it’s like planting a seed

   They fill a void by reaping what they sow because it’s filling a need

            Their happiness comes with pain

            You can see it in their eyes

            Their loneliness causes rain

            Is it any surprise?

Bridge:  They’re hard as diamonds when it comes to rules

              Because they’ve broken quite a few

              And, they’ll assist you when you give them fools

              It’s the best that you can do

Chaos ravine is calling

It’s holding them in a spell

Chaos ravine forever

There’s nothing to show or tell

Chaos ravine is calling

Chaos ravine is calling

Chaos ravine is calling

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited April 29, 2023 by Lynn Wilson

[Bajan Blue]

Really like this Lynn - a good track that kept my interested all the way through - love those funky voicey synths!!

Cool

Nigel

 

[Supa Reels]

Hello m8,

Well this is bloody good ... I waited to the end to find the kitchen sink  ... everything else sounds like it's been thrown in  ... but you know I love to read the words, but you tease ...  you tease, bad boy ... I love your stuff and don't comment enough ( although my best friend and wife has been jumping from stone to stone with different health probs .. last one being a heart attack ... but she reads and I write and review so we get by .. my last 'client' being my grandson!  LOL )

Give me words man ! .... Oh and BTW this one is IMO a great one ( Needs a little L&A)  but a great start ... Stay well my friend  and keep up the great work !

Steve

[PhonoBrainer]

You have made your own lane, and it's great. Major points for coolness of musical ideas.

So because the mix elements are so (wonderfully) diverse and so eclectic perhaps traditional mix comments may not always land successfully? But for me, the elements in the right speaker (guitar lead, and the synthy stuff) occasionally overpowered the vocals. And, again just me, but the kick drum as a super dry "click" drum, I found myself wanting something more traditional with an attack and sustain.

Great lyrics, loved how you delivered them, and I really respect your musicality and the choices you make!

 

cheers,

-Tom

[Marshall]

I’ve not been on the forum much recently, but I do remember listening to a couple of great songs of yours a while back. How much fun is this? Great listen and I can almost  hear the fun you had making it! It’s also highly original, which takes some doing. Love it! 

[Lynn Wilson]

On 3/4/2023 at 7:52 AM, Bajan Blue said:

Really like this Lynn - a good track that kept my interested all the way through - love those funky voicey synths!!

Cool

Nigel

 

Thanks, Nigel!  Those sounds come from O-Vox and Z3TA+2.  I can't wait to try out some more sounds.

 

On 3/4/2023 at 8:53 AM, Supa Reels said:

Hello m8,

Well this is bloody good ... I waited to the end to find the kitchen sink  ... everything else sounds like it's been thrown in  ... but you know I love to read the words, but you tease ...  you tease, bad boy ... I love your stuff and don't comment enough ( although my best friend and wife has been jumping from stone to stone with different health probs .. last one being a heart attack ... but she reads and I write and review so we get by .. my last 'client' being my grandson!  LOL )

Give me words man ! .... Oh and BTW this one is IMO a great one ( Needs a little L&A)  but a great start ... Stay well my friend  and keep up the great work !

Steve

I really appreciate your comments, Steve.  I can relate to what you're saying because health problems have curtailed my internet time, though not my studio time.  I hope all recover well and have a healthier year!  I put up the lyrics in my first post so that you and everyone can see weirdness that's in so many lives right now.  As you and Tom point out, I have more work to do with this song, but I'm getting a sense of the direction to go

[steve@baselines.com]

This is really interesting Lynn.  I like all those guitar lines - especially that backward one ( I think it is reversed anyway).  I like strange thought provoking lyrics, and this sure is that.  I like when you can build up your own story while listening.  Personally, I think something in there needs to provide some sort of anchor - it's just personal taste, not that I hear anything that doesn't fit...Maybe it's just a driving bass and drum I am imagining, not quite sure.  I like the ending refrain - I think it brings the varied musical ideas into focus nicely before the end.  Good work!

[FreeEarCandy]

Got some crazy characters described in the lyrics and the music befittingly takes that direction in my opinion. Certainly not the run of the mill tune. From an artistic perspective, yeah! This tune is expressive and certainly not in the box. Sonically, my ears didn't catch anything, Interesting tune. 

[Supa Reels]

Thanks for the words Lynn ... food for thought me thinks ....

[Xoo]

Not the style I was expecting from the vocals, but I really liked it.

[Lynn Wilson]

On 3/4/2023 at 10:30 AM, PhonoBrainer said:

You have made your own lane, and it's great. Major points for coolness of musical ideas.

So because the mix elements are so (wonderfully) diverse and so eclectic perhaps traditional mix comments may not always land successfully? But for me, the elements in the right speaker (guitar lead, and the synthy stuff) occasionally overpowered the vocals. And, again just me, but the kick drum as a super dry "click" drum, I found myself wanting something more traditional with an attack and sustain.

Great lyrics, loved how you delivered them, and I really respect your musicality and the choices you make!

 

cheers,

-Tom

Tom, these are exactly the kind of comments that I'm looking for.  The kick drum was the most difficult decision for me, and I want it to cut through without muddying the mix.  I have plenty of options, so I'll spend some more time auditioning other kicks.  As for the right channel, I'll be careful not to over-emphasize those elements in the next mix.  Gracias!

 

On 3/5/2023 at 5:41 AM, Marshall said:

I’ve not been on the forum much recently, but I do remember listening to a couple of great songs of yours a while back. How much fun is this? Great listen and I can almost  hear the fun you had making it! It’s also highly original, which takes some doing. Love it! 

It's good to hear from you again, Marshall!  I'm glad you like the tune.  Stay in touch.

 

20 hours ago, steve@baselines.com said:

This is really interesting Lynn.  I like all those guitar lines - especially that backward one ( I think it is reversed anyway).  I like strange thought provoking lyrics, and this sure is that.  I like when you can build up your own story while listening.  Personally, I think something in there needs to provide some sort of anchor - it's just personal taste, not that I hear anything that doesn't fit...Maybe it's just a driving bass and drum I am imagining, not quite sure.  I like the ending refrain - I think it brings the varied musical ideas into focus nicely before the end.  Good work!

Steve, thank you for your astute comments!  Yes, that is a reversed guitar (one of my favorite features in CW); I just reversed the last two measures  of that section.   I agree that the glue is not quite there, yet, and you may have hit the nail on the head.  The rhythm section needs some love.  Stay tuned!

[Lynn Wilson]

15 hours ago, FreeEarCandy said:

Got some crazy characters described in the lyrics and the music befittingly takes that direction in my opinion. Certainly not the run of the mill tune. From an artistic perspective, yeah! This tune is expressive and certainly not in the box. Sonically, my ears didn't catch anything, Interesting tune. 

I truly appreciate your comments!  There's much about reality that's out of the box for me right now

 

10 hours ago, Xoo said:

Not the style I was expecting from the vocals, but I really liked it.

Thank you very much!  Unpredictability is my goal.

 

 

Edited March 6, 2023 by Lynn Wilson

[Boomin36Beatz]

Definatly you have your own unique Style.

Keep on writting and making good music.

[Xoo]

13 hours ago, Lynn Wilson said:

Thank you very much!  Unpredictability is my goal.

I meant lyrics not vocals...I blame lack of caffeine!  I was expecting a high energy/dark rock number, so this was very pleasantly surprising.

[Lynn Wilson]

On 3/7/2023 at 1:25 AM, Boomin36Beatz said:

Definatly you have your own unique Style.

Keep on writting and making good music.

Thank you!  Same to ya'

 

On 3/7/2023 at 4:06 AM, kperry said:

I meant lyrics not vocals...I blame lack of caffeine!  I was expecting a high energy/dark rock number, so this was very pleasantly surprising.

I, too, blame the lack of coffee for much...

[Paul Bush]

Hi Lynn ,  cant pidgeon hole your stuff and thats a good thing , I went back and took another take and it was still haunting me . A great piece of work congratulations...cheers paul

[Lynn Wilson]

15 hours ago, Paul Bush said:

Hi Lynn ,  cant pidgeon hole your stuff and thats a good thing , I went back and took another take and it was still haunting me . A great piece of work congratulations...cheers paul

And, cheers to you!  Your comments mean a lot!

[markno999]

Lynn,

Solid track, the only thing I heard that seemed off was the intro with the drums and bass, they seem a bit disjointed.   I think the bass is OK, it is the kick drum mainly that seems off.    Once the vocals come in they lock together nicely.  Another spot around 3:30 where the rhythm seems to go out of whack for a few seconds.    Maybe that is Chaos part? If so, please disregard.  Overall super cool song , a couple listens through.   

Regards

[bjornpdx]

Lynn, you have an unmistakable voice and it sits really well in your music.
Good structure to the song, good mix and also I like all the accompanying stuff going on in the background.

As markno mentioned, something sounds just a little out of sync around 3:30.
I thought the tempo could be increased, maybe 5 bpm. Other than that I really enjoyed the listen.

-Bjorn

[Lynn Wilson]

On 3/10/2023 at 10:28 AM, markno999 said:

Lynn,

Solid track, the only thing I heard that seemed off was the intro with the drums and bass, they seem a bit disjointed.   I think the bass is OK, it is the kick drum mainly that seems off.    Once the vocals come in they lock together nicely.  Another spot around 3:30 where the rhythm seems to go out of whack for a few seconds.    Maybe that is Chaos part? If so, please disregard.  Overall super cool song , a couple listens through.   

Regards

 

On 3/10/2023 at 2:09 PM, bjornpdx said:

Lynn, you have an unmistakable voice and it sits really well in your music.
Good structure to the song, good mix and also I like all the accompanying stuff going on in the background.

As markno mentioned, something sounds just a little out of sync around 3:30.
I thought the tempo could be increased, maybe 5 bpm. Other than that I really enjoyed the listen.

-Bjorn

Mark and Bjorn, I'm addressing your comments together, as you've made the same observation.  I think what you're hearing is the double bass drum pattern that I chose for those sections.  It comes from the "progressive" set of grooves in SD3.  It's very busy, and perhaps isn't the best part for these sections, however, they are in time, at least, in the PRV.  It does raise a legitimate concern.  Is there a consensus on this?  This is easily fixable.  I appreciate this kind of feedback!