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I Watched Airplane 2 Last Night


bayoubill

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Clerk: Do you swear on the Constitution of the United States to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God?

Witness: Ain't no thing. [slaps the clerk's book and the clerk uses his book to slap the witness's hand as if "giving fives" to each other]

Defense Attorney: [approaches the witness as he sits down in the witness stand] Would you describe in your own words, what happened that night?

Witness: Yo! Check it, bleed. Bro... was on! Didn't trip. But the folks was freakin', man. Hey, and the pilots were laid to the bone, Home. So Blood hammered out and jammed jet ship. Tightened that bad sucker inside the runaway like a mother. Shit. ["Mr. Striker performed exceptionally. The passengers were very concerned. The pilots were incapacitated. So Mr. Striker took control and landed that plane safely. Golly!"]

[the stenographer wears sunglasses and sways back and forth as he types]

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If you like Airplane, check out Police Squad:

Police Squad! is an American television comedy series broadcast on the ABC network in 1982. It was created by David Zucker, Jim Abrahams, and Jerry Zucker, and starred Leslie Nielsen as Frank Drebin. A spoof of police procedurals, the series featured Zucker, Abrahams and Zucker's usual sight gags, wordplay and non sequiturs. While a parody of many television shows and movies, it bore a particular resemblance to the Lee Marvin cop show, M Squad (especially the opening credits) and the late 1960s series Felony Squad

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2 hours ago, S.L.I.P. said:

If you like Airplane, check out Police Squad:

Police Squad! is an American television comedy series broadcast on the ABC network in 1982. It was created by David Zucker, Jim Abrahams, and Jerry Zucker, and starred Leslie Nielsen as Frank Drebin. A spoof of police procedurals, the series featured Zucker, Abrahams and Zucker's usual sight gags, wordplay and non sequiturs. While a parody of many television shows and movies, it bore a particular resemblance to the Lee Marvin cop show, M Squad (especially the opening credits) and the late 1960s series Felony Squad

Those were great!  So were the Naked Gun movies.

 

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I was incredibly lucky and got to hang out with Leslie Nielsen one afternoon in the late 80's at a hotel in Tulsa .  We rode the elevator up and down just to harass people. He had a whoopee cushion with him so we went into the bar and there he picked the best looking woman in the place and went sat down beside her, first placing the cushion in a strategic location and slowly sitting down. After the initial sound was complete he looked at her calmly and said "excuse me". She gave him a disgusted look, got up and walked away.  I almost choked to death laughing

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49 minutes ago, bayoubill said:

I was incredibly lucky and got to hang out with Leslie Nielsen one afternoon in the late 80's at a hotel in Tulsa .  We rode the elevator up and down just to harass people. He had a whoopee cushion with him so we went into the bar and there he picked the best looking woman in the place and went sat down beside her, first placing the cushion in a strategic location and slowly sitting down. After the initial sound was complete he looked at her calmly and said "excuse me". She gave him a disgusted look, got up and walked away.  I almost choked to death laughing

That would have been awesome!  Reminds me of this interview (among several others).

 

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