Request for critique - New song - Fakeism

[iRelevant]

I'm working on a new song called "Fakeism" and would love to hear some constructive critique of it. 

https://www.bandlab.com/irelevant/fake-fake-a7f706bd

Thanks.

[garybrun]

HI.

I did listen to half of your song.

It is very different 🙂
To be real honest I could not listen to it all as it sounded like a noise to me  (but I am 55 years old)  🙂
It was like I was trapped in a space Invaders game and I couldn't understand the speeches... the more I tied too...  the more noisy it seemed to get.

Don't be disheartened by my critique...  just being honest with you and to let you know that I did listen to your track.
All the best.

Gary

[iRelevant]

3 minutes ago, garybrun said:

HI.

I did listen to half of your song.

It is very different 🙂
To be real honest I could not listen to it all as it sounded like a noise to me  (but I am 55 years old)  🙂
It was like I was trapped in a space Invaders game and I couldn't understand the speeches... the more I tied too...  the more noisy it seemed to get.

Don't be disheartened by my critique...  just being honest with you and to let you know that I did listen to your track.
All the best.

Gary

Thanks Gary. 

It is a bit muddy ... I'm struggling a bit with the conflict between a (intentionally) distorted vocal track and the guitar. Tried different things, but have not yet manage to make the vocal more legible without killing to much of the sound of the guitar.
In addition I've ended up with a double mastering on BandLab ... had my own done ... then added the one provided by BandLab to lift the volume. Might drop the latter and just go for my own for clarity.

Thank you very much for you opinion ... it's very helpful to have a honest impression ... gives me some focus as to what to work on. 

- Sven