noynekker 376 Posted August 5, 2021 I read some song lyrics by a guy named Carroll Kiphen, who has written a ton of song lyrics . . . and immediately heard a song idea. I've just been inspired by folks here on the Cakewalk Forum to try different things, so this one was something different for me, since I usually write the lyrics. It's great when you have the road map of a song already, made the process smoother to complete it, maybe less personal attachment helps ? Who knows, just go with the flow . . . thanks Carroll. As usual, I trust you'll let us know if anything jumps out ? 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
David Sprouse 795 Posted August 5, 2021 (edited) I love the melody on this. The title/chorus is so original. You're quite the wordsmith. Sending Envy Energy your way. Edited August 8, 2021 by David Sprouse Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
noynekker 376 Posted August 5, 2021 Thanks for the listen David . . . I will forward your cudos to the lyricist Carroll Kiphen . . . glad you liked my melody . . . envy energy gratefully received :D:D Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mark skinner 647 Posted August 5, 2021 That was Awesome ! Very soothing and perfect vocals. I'm amazed at how well the vocals cut thru such a nice full mix. Everything is clear and I could hear all of the tasty quieter keyboard passages. Perfect collaboration . mark Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Wookiee 1,747 Posted August 5, 2021 This is nicely done, not really my thing but this is done well. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PhonoBrainer 1,817 Posted August 5, 2021 bass guitar up a little in the instrumental bridge section? maybe more "sustained" bass notes throughout the piece, as opposed to the more staccato bass notes? Maybe acoustic guitar down just a smidge when you are singing in the verses? Maybe a longer fade out at the end? As you can see, it's difficult to find weaknesses here. Great mix and instrumentation, and a wonderful vocal. Melody is a hook factory. Brought to mind a bit of Christopher Cross. Fantastic guitar tones. And all feels quite original and inventive in a song subject that certainly has been written about before. Plus, the grammatic incorrectness will cement its acceptance with a much wider audience! Actually, not kidding there. Great tune !!! cheers, -Tom 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Douglas Kirby 786 Posted August 5, 2021 I thought you did a good job on this one - nicely done. Good song (I liked the melody) with a quality mix. I enjoyed the vocal performance as well. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freddy j 597 Posted August 5, 2021 (edited) Very nice nice song indeed! It has all of the qualities that would make it commercially viable. You vocal performance is great!! Oh ya, cool title!!! Edited August 5, 2021 by freddy j Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
steve@baselines.com 275 Posted August 5, 2021 Nice song. Smooth and recorded well. Nice work on this one. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
noynekker 376 Posted August 6, 2021 11 hours ago, mark skinner said: That was Awesome ! Very soothing and perfect vocals. I'm amazed at how well the vocals cut thru such a nice full mix. Everything is clear and I could hear all of the tasty quieter keyboard passages. Perfect collaboration . mark @mark skinner Thanks for the great comments Mark . . . I had to really work this mix to keep the vocal clear, mostly by taming the bass guitar . . . appreciate your input. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
noynekker 376 Posted August 6, 2021 10 hours ago, PhonoBrainer said: bass guitar up a little in the instrumental bridge section? maybe more "sustained" bass notes throughout the piece, as opposed to the more staccato bass notes? Maybe acoustic guitar down just a smidge when you are singing in the verses? Maybe a longer fade out at the end? As you can see, it's difficult to find weaknesses here. Great mix and instrumentation, and a wonderful vocal. Melody is a hook factory. Brought to mind a bit of Christopher Cross. Fantastic guitar tones. And all feels quite original and inventive in a song subject that certainly has been written about before. Plus, the grammatic incorrectness will cement its acceptance with a much wider audience! Actually, not kidding there. Great tune !!! cheers, -Tom @PhonoBrainer Thanks for your help Tom . . . yes I wrestled with your suggestions as I tried to put this together . . . decided to keep the Bass as just some root pitch pulsing with the kick drum, which I heard in another song, leaving more low room for the mute guitar panned right. I like your idea of Bass up and perhaps more sustained in the Bridge, think it would help build things more. I'm glad to hear you found some "hookness" to it . . . because that's what I heard when I first read Carroll's lyrics. Thanks again . . . Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
noynekker 376 Posted August 6, 2021 10 hours ago, Douglas Kirby said: I thought you did a good job on this one - nicely done. Good song (I liked the melody) with a quality mix. I enjoyed the vocal performance as well. Thank you for the positive input Douglas. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
noynekker 376 Posted August 6, 2021 9 hours ago, freddy j said: Very nice nice song indeed! It has all of the qualities that would make it commercially viable. You vocal performance is great!! Oh ya, cool title!!! @freddy j Thanks for your input Freddy Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
noynekker 376 Posted August 6, 2021 7 hours ago, steve@baselines.com said: Nice song. Smooth and recorded well. Nice work on this one. Steve, glad you could have a listen . . . thank you for the compliments ! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PhonoBrainer 1,817 Posted August 6, 2021 24 minutes ago, noynekker said: @PhonoBrainer Thanks for your help Tom . . . yes I wrestled with your suggestions as I tried to put this together . . . decided to keep the Bass as just some root pitch pulsing with the kick drum, which I heard in another song, leaving more low room for the mute guitar panned right. I like your idea of Bass up and perhaps more sustained in the Bridge, think it would help build things more. I'm glad to hear you found some "hookness" to it . . . because that's what I heard when I first read Carroll's lyrics. Thanks again . . . Yes the stacatto bass works as is, it leaves all kinds of room which is one reason the mix works so well! Very well done all around . . . Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bjornpdx 1,005 Posted August 6, 2021 Instruments, melody and singing made an appealing sound that put a nice positive spin on my mood. Hard to describe but there it is. Thumbs up! -Bjorn Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
noynekker 376 Posted August 7, 2021 20 hours ago, bjornpdx said: Instruments, melody and singing made an appealing sound that put a nice positive spin on my mood. Hard to describe but there it is. Thumbs up! -Bjorn Thanks Bjorn, always a nice feeling to brighten someone's day . . . and I'll tell you, your stuff here on the forum has brightened many of mine. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bajan Blue 1,038 Posted August 8, 2021 Good job on this - would agree with Tom for me the bass needs a bit of a look at Otherwise well done Nigel Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DeeringAmps 1,732 Posted August 8, 2021 Its all been said so I'll just add some 👍's! t 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hidden Symmetry 1,446 Posted August 8, 2021 Enjoyed the track, good tune. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
