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Hi Jack.
We all paint very different pictures and these are just my opinions and I am not in anyway trying to take away from your composition..

 I think I've said it before when I listen to your music...  its sounds like its smashed and clipping.
All to do with dynamic range.
I can see on your wave file it is not though...  I would work on the mid range and separation in the stereo field. 


 

Edited by garybrun

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hey mate:i'm open to all comments cause how else can i develop.jack c.

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 Jack , I really liked the song. Very much a Talking Heads vibe. I liked the guitar tone but was missing hearing some highs on it. Maybe copy and blend it with a cleaner toned track. I didn't feel  or understand the dead silent stops , but I know what you were going for. Maybe they just weren't the right length or maybe needed a drum hit somewhere in it  ??  As usual Great job on the vocals..  mark 

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I totally got the David Byrne effect from this, very nice vocals indeed!

In your dead stop cutouts, you might leave an audio sample of just an empty room being recorded. It will give a sense of real air in the room during the dropouts.

A whole song's worth of lyrics - only two notes in the melody. Fun!

cheers,

-Tom

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9 hours ago, emeraldsoul said:

I totally got the David Byrne effect from this, very nice vocals indeed!

In your dead stop cutouts, you might leave an audio sample of just an empty room being recorded. It will give a sense of real air in the room during the dropouts.

A whole song's worth of lyrics - only two notes in the melody. Fun!

cheers,

-Tom

 

14 hours ago, mark skinner said:

 Jack , I really liked the song. Very much a Talking Heads vibe. I liked the guitar tone but was missing hearing some highs on it. Maybe copy and blend it with a cleaner toned track. I didn't feel  or understand the dead silent stops , but I know what you were going for. Maybe they just weren't the right length or maybe needed a drum hit somewhere in it  ??  As usual Great job on the vocals..  mark 

thanks guys for listen/comments.jack c.

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Good comments given above.  Given that - I really like the song and your vocals were great.  Ya, it does have a Talking Heads meets Lou Reed sound to me.

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19 hours ago, freddy j said:

Given that - I really like the song and your vocals were great.  Ya, it does have a Talking Heads meets Lou Reed sound to me.

 

18 hours ago, Hidden Symmetry said:

Lou Reed vibe, also a bit of won't get fooled again..

talking heads one of me favorite bands.yea velvet underground inspired this song.thanks for listen/comments.jack c.

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I know what you're talking about. Those 3am staring at the ceiling thoughts can be sobering.
Not sure if the sudden stops in the song work. Maybe after the stop have a quick fade in to the vocal as the "thoughts" start up again.
To me the vocal sounds like it was recorded during a live performance in a club or bar which I actually like.
-Bjorn

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3 hours ago, bjornpdx said:

Not sure if the sudden stops in the song work. Maybe after the stop have a quick fade in to the vocal as the "thoughts" start up again.
To me the vocal sounds like it was recorded during a live performance in a club or bar which I actually like.
-Bjorn

a number of people don't like me stops.i think i'll do those more.thanks for listen/comments.jack c.

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