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John K

Iz Dat Wats

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Iz dat wats.

In English, may translate as “What is that?”

Don’t expect a landslide of responses, because this infirmity only affects a subset of humanity.  Mostly those who are old and have raised a family with kids. Then the affliction does not by nature affect all families. On top of that, it takes the aberration time to slowly develop, maybe over decades until the damage is permanent. Most of you forum members are probably young pups in teens or early 20’s. There are no words to express what may be waiting. I can only be a voice in the wilderness to warn you of what may be ahead.

I only speak English, but suspect that this problem is inflicted on other languages as well.

Most of us grew up trying to negotiate through the intricacies of our mother tongue. Then we get married, we have kids, who don’t give a fork about convention and no inborn respect for the limitations we are trying to impose upon them.

As a result, some of us otherwise sane and assimilated adults inadvertently take up the language patterns of our ofspring. It can be more destructive if both the husband and wife collectively resonate with the distortions, and it becomes part of your normal vocabulary especially in public, in critical moments when you let your guard down.

Me and the wife were in the grocery line and looked at something in the fast sell line. I asked, “Iz Dat Wats?”. Wife replied, “Iz dats cellular SIMS card”.

The clerk was drooling with red eyes rolled up about to relapse into seizures in terror having to deal with a deranged 10 IQ elderly couple babbling in tongues.

Would have been no use to blame it on my kid.

In truth, it appears that the young child has a higher grasp on linguistic expression.

Is dat wats was a question of what is it, but equally valid in the present context of “there it is” My daughter at 3 years old could comprehend the inquisition aspect, but also the fluid perception of a factual observation, one in the same expression. Lived in Marietta Georgia as an aircraft mechanic. Local focal point was The Big Chicken, a 50 foot high monument in the middle of the city. My kid could express Is Dat Big Chickens (meaning there is the Big Chicken) as well as delineating the parallel architecture to ask some mundane question like what is that. As adults, we have lost that ability.

We got a grandson. Live on the coast of the Pacific. Beautiful and respected Coast Guard patrols the harbor. Coast Guard boat to the grandson was the Ka Ka Batches, meaning Coast Guard boat. Coast Guard has a rescue helicopter. Grandson calls it the Ka Ka Batches Hecilopter. Me and the wife have taken up reporting the sightings as the Ka Ka Batches Hecilopter.

I know this is not within the radar of most, but can submit an addendum that may resonate with some of you with young kids. Not necessarily for the elderly among us that have had our linguistic expressions terminally distorted.

Mangling of songs…

From the secular. My kid at age four was listening to Credence Clearwater “Bad Moon on the Rise”  Became “There’s a bathroom on the right”

Less sensitive Christmas standards, 12 days of Christmas became 2 turtle dogs and a partridge etc…

Then the more hallowed sacred songs of the season. Ripped to insane shreds. I recognized then that my daughter was a decent washed in the blood heathen, chip off of the block like her old man.

Like said, probably no one can relate to this.

Important thing that I wish, if having no personal control over. Stay safe. Stay inspired. Stay useful to our collective family. Stay involved. Stay relevant. Share the last breath of whatever talents and abilities you have to elevate our universal cause from crude to subtle. 2020 was a butt fork, but glorious days are ahead I hope. Hang in there.


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