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So, is the Coffee House a Male Only club?

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No, not at all. The ladies are most welcome, however there are some rules. Please note these are all numbered "1".  


1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this  one: Subtle hints do  not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do  not work! Just say  it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are  for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In  fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.  Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football, sexual fantasies , or monster  trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading the rules; Yes, we know, we have  to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.

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Posted (edited)

We used to have many women on the forums. They've drifted slowly away and I miss them. I took 2  of them to lunch and we had a great time. Very knowledgeable and talented women have passed though these Cakewalk portals 

There may be more here now but I haven't seen any women here in a while

Edited by bayoubill
misspled werds

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1 hour ago, paulo said:

No, not at all. The ladies are most welcome, however there are some rules. Please note these are all numbered "1".  


1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this  one: Subtle hints do  not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do  not work! Just say  it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are  for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In  fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.  Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football, sexual fantasies , or monster  trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading the rules; Yes, we know, we have  to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.

I am not going to show my wife this list!

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Yes there were a few ladies that I remember. I know Susan is in Reaper land.

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1. You don't talk about the Coffee House

2. You don't talk about the Coffee House

.

.

.

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Susan and I went to lunch years ago and had Mexican food. 

 

 

 

 

 

I Am a name dropper ...... I apologize  ☹️

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I had a meal with Julibee. 

 

Drops mic.

 

Walks away.

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Posted (edited)
11 minutes ago, Bapu said:

I had a meal with Julibee. 

 

Drops mic.

 

Walks away.

Bapu%20and%20Julibee.jpg

 

It's true!  I actually found I have the picture. 😉

Edited by craigb

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13 minutes ago, Bapu said:

I had a meal with Julibee. 

 

Drops mic.

 

Walks away.

Don't be embarrassed Bapu. Remember, some folks here openly flirted with a man pretending to be a woman.

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43 minutes ago, Bapu said:

I had a meal with Julibee. 

And you don't tell us what the meal is. How dare you keep it to yourself. I'm sure Becan was involed :D
Nice picture by the way :)

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There's a lady called Molly asking about musical scores further down the page. She's already been 'treated' to the rapier-like wit of the CH.

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35 minutes ago, James G said:

There's a lady called Molly asking about musical scores further down the page. She's already been 'treated' to the rapier-like wit of the CH.

I hope that you're not suggesting that somebody who appears to be female should be treated differently to anyone else because that would be sexist. 😏

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2 minutes ago, paulo said:

I hope that you're not suggesting that somebody who appears to be female should be treated differently to anyone else because that would be sexist. 😏

No, I'm not. I'm just bored of the lazy, witless bollocks that passes for 'humour', tediously carried over from the last place. Although I'm actually quite surprised that 'Wong on So Many Levels' hasn't appeared yet. It's only a matter of time.

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9 minutes ago, James G said:

No, I'm not. I'm just bored of the lazy, witless bollocks that passes for 'humour', tediously carried over from the last place. Although I'm actually quite surprised that 'Wong on So Many Levels' hasn't appeared yet. It's only a matter of time.

Please bite your tongue for mentioning that>:(

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3 minutes ago, James G said:

No, I'm not. I'm just bored of the lazy, witless bollocks that passes for 'humour', tediously carried over from the last place. Although I'm actually quite surprised that 'Wong on So Many Levels' hasn't appeared yet. It's only a matter of time.

I actually thought that the OP did well to get so many sensible answers tbh. Would have been way worse in the old CH. I'm sorry if my effort failed to meet the required standard for acceptable humour.

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I think we are being just silly and passing the time.  I wish there were more ladies on the forum to banter with :)  All in good fun.

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11 minutes ago, paulo said:

I actually thought that the OP did well to get so many sensible answers tbh. Would have been way worse in the old CH. I'm sorry if my effort failed to meet the required standard for acceptable humour.

Paulo. I honestly can't be arsed. You know what I mean. Make the CH what you want it to be, just like the Songs forum.

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6 minutes ago, James G said:

Paulo. I honestly can't be arsed. You know what I mean. Make the CH what you want it to be, just like the Songs forum.

No sarcasm intended in my previous response to you James.

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