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Notes_Norton

Puns Anyone? Got 'em? Post 'em.

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What do you call a beatnik that lives by the river?
A hippiepotamus.

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I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control.

I thought to myself... "Well this changes everything!"

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Just now, Notes_Norton said:

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control.

I thought to myself... "Well this changes everything!"

Only with fresh batteries😆

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Posted (edited)
23 minutes ago, InstrEd said:

Only with fresh batteries😆

The last time I had fresh batteries, they pinched my butt.

I'm buying more tomorrow.

------

My girlfriend is fed up of my constant wordplay jokes.

I asked her, "What should I do to stop my addiction?"

She said, "Hey, whatever means necessary."

"No, no it doesn't," I said.

Edited by Notes_Norton

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46 minutes ago, Notes_Norton said:

"Hey, whatever  memes  necessary."

 

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Dogs can't operate MRI scanners, catscan.

Our mountains aren't just funny, they're hill areas.

Turning Vegan would be a big missed steak.

Well, to be Frank, I'd have to change my name.

Life is short, if you can't laugh at yourself, call me and I will.

Ban pre-shredded cheese, make America grate again.

Electricians have to strip to make ends meet.

For chemists, alcohol is not a problem, it's a solution.

I scream, you scream, the police show up; it's awkward...

Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.

I'm friends with 25 letters of the Alphabet; I don't know y...

Cow stumbles into pot field!  The steaks have never been higher!

Crushing pop cans is soda pressing!

In search of fresh vegetable puns.  Lettuce know!

He who laughs last, didn't get it.

Big shout out to my fingers.  I can always count on them.

Remember, if the World didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

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William Tell's family were avid league bowlers but no records were kept so to this day no one knows for whom the Tell's bowled!

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Posted (edited)
19 hours ago, craigb said:

Continuing with my animal theme...

92c5f517ee2c8b212f406e15eb7aa840--picnic

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

:P

Mxd9JPm.png

Kenny

Edited by kennywtelejazz
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Boss: "How good are you at PowerPoint?"

Me: "I Excel at it."

Boss: "Was that a Microsoft Office pun?"

Me: "Word"

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Scientists looking for better antioxidant solutions decided to open the prison. They needed free radicals.

* ducks and runs* the most unfunny pun of 2020-2021.

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After committing a bank robbery, the midget clairvoyant ran away and became a small, medium at large.

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14 hours ago, emeraldsoul said:

Some of these are so old, the dinosaurs posted them on MySpace.

And how would you know this ? unless..................................

😁

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4 hours ago, Notes_Norton said:

2017-12-27 French Revolution.jpg

Many happy returns...???

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5 hours ago, Notes_Norton said:

2017-12-27 French Revolution.jpg

Only visitors keep going, the French quit a long time ago! 😁

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