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Notes_Norton

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1 hour ago, Doc H said:

 

I think someone is aggressively trying to reduce the human population. You better have a bathroom and three rolls of TP on the ready about 2 hours after eating that!

Put 911 on speed dial!!!

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If you boil a funny bone, it becomes a laughing stock.

That's humerus.

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Older Chinese proverb.  Learn to satisfy yourself.  Come in handy!

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An invisible man married an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

I didn’t think the chiropractor would improve my posture. But I stand corrected.
  
I took my new girlfriend out on our first date to the ice rink, and entry was half price. She called me a cheap skate.
 
Studies show cows produce more milk when the farmer talks to them. It’s a case of in one ear and out the udder.
 
I used to date a girl with one leg who worked at a brewery. She was in charge of the hops.
  
My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce. I found out she was seeing someone on the side.
  
My wife claims I’m the cheapest person she’s ever met. I’m not buying it.
  
Did you know that a raven has 17 rigid feathers called pinions, while a crow has only 16. The difference between a raven and a crow is just a matter of a pinion.
  
I told my carpenter I didn’t want carpeted steps. He gave me a blank stair.

What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing up his own incision? Suture self.

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Geesh Craig .........................you and  notes should write a book. lol.

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33 minutes ago, Starise said:

Geesh Craig .........................you and  notes should write a book. lol.

Who reads books anymore? 🤔

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I always thought a good name for a Pink Floyd tribute band would be "Pink Fraud"

There used to be a Neil Diamond impersonator around here who called himself "Neil Zirconium"

How about "Proxy Music"? "The Faux Fighters"? "Rolling Clones"? (I think these are all real tribute bands)

Notes

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2 hours ago, Notes_Norton said:

How about "Proxy Music"?

Would they play Not the Real Thing? 😏

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She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

 

(sounds like an old-time country music song title to me)

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